I didn't think that today could get any worse

I just spoke with Mia, bless her heart. She got the bad news from our nurse coordinator, Cari, then five minutes later was surprised when Dr. Sleepy himself called. She was impressed that he cared enough to call today despite having a phone consult next Monday at 3:00. The news of the beta was a hard pill to swallow but at least it was one that we were ready for; Dr. Sleepy suggested that Mia not try her eggs again and move on to donor egg. He feels that this was a contributing factor to their earlier miscarriages and the reason for this transfer’s failure.

Of course I was sad when Mia called but I was composed; I completely lost it when I heard that and could hardly get it back together when I heard Mia break on the other end. *Sigh* I can’t weave this into some lyrically beautiful post so these are the plain facts: Mia and Urs definitely do not want to try her eggs again. They have a strong desire for an open ED relationship and physical characteristics are of no concern to them – the personal relationship with the donor is what is most important. She didn’t know how possible it was to find a donor who desired an open relationship but when I told her that there were many EDs who also want that type of relationship, she sounded more encouraged about pursing the ED route and said that Urs also would find that to be welcome news. I immediately thought of Lisa, who has an amazing relationship with her egg donor, and offered to ask if she would take some time to talk with Mia and Urs about open egg donation. Mia was grateful for that, and one day next week they will talk. Mia and Urs will still have a longer consult with Dr. Sleepy on Monday.

No matter what happens next, we are thankful that we have found each other and that despite our tears, we can find comfort, strength, and solace within our relationship .

10 Comments

  1. Shayna on April 4, 2008 at 6:26 pm

    I am so sorry Moxie. (((HUGS))) You’ll all in my thoughts and prayers!!



  2. Carrie on April 4, 2008 at 7:40 pm

    I wasn’t expecting Dr. Sleepy to tell them that they should look for an egg donor. But, at least he may have helped them from future suffering and they can finally get their well deserved baby.



  3. Mama2BandT aka Maranda on April 4, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    I’m sorry for all you guys in this…does that mean they would just go TS route or find an egg donor and then use a GS like yourself again? I guess if it’s going to be an open relationship then TS would be the most obvious answer…sorry long day at the aquarium w/ the kids…not thinking…



  4. meg on April 4, 2008 at 8:22 pm

    I’m sorry too, Moxie. It must have been really hard to hear that news from Mia. But I’m glad that they have a plan.



  5. MoMo on April 4, 2008 at 10:23 pm

    I am sorry Moxie-I hope that an open ED works out and they can proceed.
    Secondly, I think you are my clicker and i just want to say thank you for putting my updates on lost and found!



  6. k77 on April 5, 2008 at 4:30 am

    Fuck, I am so sorry. What sucky sucky news, the -ve beta and the need for donor eggs.
    Am I correct in assuming that you will do GS for M&U again with donor eggs?



  7. Lady Bits on April 5, 2008 at 8:59 am

    I’m so sorry for all of you.



  8. niobe on April 5, 2008 at 1:10 pm

    I’m really hoping that this works out for them (and for you!). I don’t know them or anything about them, but I can imagine the long, difficult road they’ve travelled.



  9. Ann on April 5, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    I’m so sad for all of you that this didn’t work out. I know how much you (and Mia and Urs!) were hoping for it.
    How wonderful that you were able to give Mia some hope and help in thinking about the ED process, and support and friendship through all of this. I will keep them in my prayers and hope to hear good news some day soon.



  10. Kenya on April 7, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    So sorry..truly.