I just spoke with Mia, bless her heart. She got the bad news from our nurse coordinator, Cari, then five minutes later was surprised when Dr. Sleepy himself called. She was impressed that he cared enough to call today despite having a phone consult next Monday at 3:00. The news of the beta was a hard pill to swallow but at least it was one that we were ready for; Dr. Sleepy suggested that Mia not try her eggs again and move on to donor egg. He feels that this was a contributing factor to their earlier miscarriages and the reason for this transfer’s failure.
Of course I was sad when Mia called but I was composed; I completely lost it when I heard that and could hardly get it back together when I heard Mia break on the other end. *Sigh* I can’t weave this into some lyrically beautiful post so these are the plain facts: Mia and Urs definitely do not want to try her eggs again. They have a strong desire for an open ED relationship and physical characteristics are of no concern to them – the personal relationship with the donor is what is most important. She didn’t know how possible it was to find a donor who desired an open relationship but when I told her that there were many EDs who also want that type of relationship, she sounded more encouraged about pursing the ED route and said that Urs also would find that to be welcome news. I immediately thought of Lisa, who has an amazing relationship with her egg donor, and offered to ask if she would take some time to talk with Mia and Urs about open egg donation. Mia was grateful for that, and one day next week they will talk. Mia and Urs will still have a longer consult with Dr. Sleepy on Monday.
No matter what happens next, we are thankful that we have found each other and that despite our tears, we can find comfort, strength, and solace within our relationship .