Nightmares and Dreamscapes

The_blob Last night Frank had to wake me from a horrible nightmare. I was trying to escape from a building with a few others. We were being pursued by a man-eating, shapeless mass that can only be described as The Blob. We ran into two men, who we also thought were trying to escape. Instead, they stood motionless, blocking our path. Finally in unison they slowly opened their mouths widely, showing that some of the thing inside of them, possessing and controlling their bodies. They began walking slowly towards us saying, "We’re dead inside. You’re just a rotting coffin…rotting coffin…rotting coffin…." I guess it was at this point that I began thrashing about and moaning, because the next thing I knew Frank was shaking me trying to get me to wake up. It took a while before I could fall asleep again.

This morning I woke to find that my period started.  Make of that dream what you will.

In better news, Dr. Sleepy has now given Mia and Urs a 20-25% chance of conception with her eggs if he adjusts her protocol a bit. Those odds are still not great, but they are better than what Mia and Urs were expecting. It’s a chance, all chances should be considered when you’re speaking of letting go of your genetic connection to your child. As such, there is talk now about possibly transferring again with Mia’s eggs one last time in May, then they may proceed to donor egg if that transfer is unsuccessful. This is what Mia will ask Dr. Sleepy and Cari about in email today, because if that’s the route we take, we will likely need to start BCPs and/or Lupron within the next couple of weeks. Whether her eggs or moving on to donor egg, they feel ready to move with one option or the other.

There is still the question of whether Mia will be able to carry her own pregnancy with donor egg, and that is something that she feels less sure about. With four losses she is scared of another miscarriage and I cannot say that I blame her. I told her a bit about how a couple of my blogging friends feel regarding carrying their pregnancies and their move to surrogacy, and she feels comforted in knowing that she’s not alone in her feelings.

So, things are moving forward slowly but surely. I am in no great rush. It is more important to me that Mia and Urs fully explore and consider their options so that they make the decision that they are most comfortable with. 

1 thought on “Nightmares and Dreamscapes”

  1. I think I can honestly say that I’ve never felt even the least twinge of regret about the idea of surrogacy. But, obviously, I’m in a different situation than some other people.
    But, that said, I wonder if Mia ends up with DE, it becomes less risky for her to attempt a pregnancy on her own. (I may have missed the explanation for her losses — if there is one).

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