I was good all day yesterday; no crazy obsessing, plenty of distractions, and time felt like it was whizzing by. I hardly gave a thought to today's beta, which means I didn't think about it enough to work up a good worry. Until. Until it was 2am and I startled awake eyes wide open with my heart pounding and my stomach clenched in a tight ball from repressed nerves. A single thought – Oh shit, my beta's in a few hours….what if…. Then I locked it down, pressed it away, told my subconscious mind to just go somewhere and shut the hell up, and managed to sleep soundly for the rest of the night.