Stillness By Kymberli | June 6, 2008 | 47 Monday: 56Wednesday: 116Friday: 159 I can't breathe. Posted in The Surrogacy Files 47 Comments journey to junior on June 6, 2008 at 1:05 pm no, NO! oh shit. shit. Jo on June 6, 2008 at 1:08 pm Oh no… this is so wrong. So So wrong.. I am so very sorry for all of you. bleu on June 6, 2008 at 1:13 pm Oh hun, I am so so so sorry, this is just too wrong, too unfair. Amy Y on June 6, 2008 at 1:25 pm 🙁 I’m sorry Moxie… Jen on June 6, 2008 at 1:30 pm No no no….. I will be mad at the universe now. Io on June 6, 2008 at 1:32 pm No! Oh nonono. Erin on June 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm Roller coaster. Sorry, sugar. Thinking about all of you. Kari on June 6, 2008 at 1:58 pm that just sucks!!! thinknng of you all and praying for a nice rise monday! # 1 Stalker on June 6, 2008 at 2:09 pm Hugs to Mia, Urs and YOU! I hope that if it’s meant to be..things be shown on Monday and not dragged out. Sending prayers your way that u don’t obsess too much over the weekend. You are pregnant…so stay POSITIVE! stephanie on June 6, 2008 at 2:51 pm Oh, I’m so sorry for you, Mia and Urs. It could still turn around, right? I’ll be hoping and praying that it does. Megan on June 6, 2008 at 2:52 pm Crap. My heart said a prayer for all of you the moment I saw those numbers. My brain said maybe both blasts implanted and then one stopped growing but the other one kept going and that’s why we didn’t see a double. I’ll be holding my breath with you. Ann on June 6, 2008 at 3:14 pm Oh, no, no, no. That’s just not right at all. I’m keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers right now. motel manager on June 6, 2008 at 3:44 pm Sh*t, Moxie. I will be hoping that things look great on Monday. Or if they’re not destined to be good, that they don’t drag on so that you can try again as soon as you can/want. sara on June 6, 2008 at 4:02 pm Oh Moxie, a whole bunch of four letter words come to mind. What did they say at the office? I know they should be doubling every few days, but like you said…I’m hoping it’s because there were two and only one is still growing. Can I just say fuck? I’m sorry for swearing, but I couldn’t hold it in. I am so sorry that you and Mia have to worry about this over the weekend. The universe definitely seems a little off to me today after hearing your beta. Things like this just shouldn’t happen to people like the two of you. It’s just wrong. I’m hoping this is just a really slow rising number. Sending some hugs your way, and some prayers too. Mya on June 6, 2008 at 4:10 pm Oh, Moxie, I’m so sorry. I’ll be sending you lots of hugs and prayers over the weekend. Ms. J on June 6, 2008 at 5:23 pm Just wanted to say I am thinking of you, honey. Andrea on June 6, 2008 at 5:38 pm i’m sending you all lots of prayers…. niobe on June 6, 2008 at 5:40 pm Oh, no. This is absolutely heartbreaking. Pam on June 6, 2008 at 5:48 pm Crap. That’s not just not right. Kathy on June 6, 2008 at 6:58 pm UGH!!!!!!! I am so sorry Moxie, Mia and Urs! (((HUGS))) Life can be so unfair. One day everything seems to be going along just as you hoped and planned it would and the next everything seems to be falling apart for no apparent reason. You and your sweet baby(s) are in my thoughts and prayers. I am hoping and praying that things turn around with your precious embryo(s) and if they don’t that you all are able to make peace with the outcome. Hang in there. Calliope on June 6, 2008 at 7:38 pm fuck sending MUCH mojo and lots of love. xo Mel on June 6, 2008 at 7:53 pm I’m just sitting here, holding your hand until the next test. Carrie27 on June 6, 2008 at 8:18 pm Blech! My heart aches for all of you. I’m hoping for an amazing number on Monday. insane mama on June 6, 2008 at 8:19 pm I’m sorry… I’m praying for you. stay positive luna on June 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm oh god, kymberli, this is so upsetting. I’m really hoping the next beta comes up strong… keep on breathing. M on June 6, 2008 at 8:50 pm Shit – I hope some screwball newbie at the lab got it wrong…. x Bec on June 6, 2008 at 9:24 pm Don’t really have much more to add – everyone else said it all. I guess there’s always room for one or two more “fucks”, right? I’m still praying for you guys and I love you. ((((HUGS)))) Paige on June 6, 2008 at 9:45 pm I’m praying those numbers turn around Moxie! Take care of yourself this weekend! Hope on June 7, 2008 at 12:50 am I am so sorry. Words are so inadequate. Prayers though, are not. Praying for you. Hope SAHW on June 7, 2008 at 6:09 am There’s still hope, right?? Hoping for good news on Monday… PJ on June 7, 2008 at 7:38 am I so hope that’s just a fluke, and you get a higher number next beta! Keeping my fingers crossed for you! AlmostMrsJoyner on June 7, 2008 at 8:33 am Delurking after reading for awhile to let you know Im holding your hand until Monday…Try to breath, in and out..Love to all of you! Sanan on June 7, 2008 at 9:39 am I am so sorry..wishing and praying hard that you get a great number in the next test. Wishing4One on June 7, 2008 at 11:03 am Thinking of you and praying for next beta…hang in there and exhale….xoxoxoxoxo Pepper on June 7, 2008 at 11:24 am So very sorry. Hang in there. tash on June 7, 2008 at 1:59 pm shit. hang in there. Better yet, let us hang there for you. Go put your feet up on the couch. tash on June 7, 2008 at 1:59 pm shit. hang in there. Better yet, let us hang there for you. Go put your feet up on the couch. A Soldier's Girl on June 7, 2008 at 3:31 pm I am sorry that you are going thru this rollercoaster… I will be praying for you all!! chicklet on June 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm I don’t know what to say, nothing will help right now. Just hoping for you, thinkign of you. Gawd. JJ on June 7, 2008 at 5:04 pm Taking deep breaths for you…Im so sorry Moxie. Ashley L. on June 7, 2008 at 5:52 pm God, I’m so sorry. I’m hoping for you. katedaphne on June 7, 2008 at 7:32 pm SHITBUCKET!!! I hope this doesn’t mean what I think it does. I am pulling for this to turn around — and soon. You, Mia and Urs are in my thoughts. Take care of each other. Jennifer on June 7, 2008 at 9:54 pm I’m so sorry! margalit on June 7, 2008 at 11:35 pm I’m so sorry. Sometimes the universe is so cruel. Here from NCLM. Sarah on June 8, 2008 at 3:57 pm If I could get any lower, I guess I just did. I still have hope for you though. The news just caught me off guard. Elizabeth on June 9, 2008 at 8:22 am You all are in my thoughts. I hope today brings a great number. Bump Fairy on June 11, 2008 at 6:54 pm Oh wow, just stumbled accross and I gotta say, those are some tough numbers! Hope, or no hope, you know?? How hard for your IP’s, and for yourself. I’ll read on to see if you’ve gotten another BETA or an ultrasound, I just wanted to pipe in with a “dammit” of my own for you in the mean time..