"Fatty, fatty, two by four! Can't fit through the dressing room door?"***
This morning I stood on the scale, which from long months of disuse had gathered a blanket of dust, and was shocked to find that I have gained so much weight in the past few year that instead of the digital numbers I was expecting, the readout flashed "to be continued…." Not really, but it did say that I have ballooned to an appalling 191.6 lbs, up from the comfortable 160-165 lbs that I weighed this time last year. I was 173 lbs when I weighed in at the clinic in February, so the bulk of this weight gain is a direct result of the two back-to-back cycles I've had since then. The cookies didn't help matters, but hormones always tend to wreak havoc on my body and my ability to control what goes in my mouth. Add that to having PCOS/IR, and I've porked up. Once again. Not cool.
It wasn't like the weight gain snuck up on me. My size 12's were fitting too snugly, and eventually I had to abandon those and unpack the 14's and 16's. "No big deal," I thought in mid-May. "Hopefully I'll get pregnant and then I won't have to worry about losing the extra baggage for a while." Then I did get pregnant (YAY!), but we know how that ended (BOO!). Between the YAY! and the BOO!, I'd told my friend and coworker that the transfer had worked. I didn't tell many people, paranoid Clockwatcher that I was, but I told her because she'd been a support person and had been waiting to know what the beta results were. I had not told her about any of the poor levels or of the impending miscarriage. Last Thursday I had to go up to the school to take care of a few things and coincidentally, she happened to be there. She said that on the way to the school she had stopped by the house and dropped off the box of maternity clothes that I'd let her borrow last year since I'd be needing them soon. "I know how you tend to start showing very early and I figured you'd need them before the school year started! Are Mia and Urs just completely over the moon with excitement!?!" I hated having to tell her that I was actually in the middle of miscarrying. Her face broke and right there in the middle of the front office, both of us sat there on the brink of tears. Sigh…moving on…I digress….
Where was I? YAY, then BOO…nope, not pregnant, so I need to get up off my lard ass because yesterday I had to suck it in to button up those 16's and this morning I eyed those maternity clothes, with their stretchy elastic bands for a moment too long. I have got to drop this weight, at least enough of it to fit comfortably into my 14's before the start of the school year in early August. Otherwise, I might get fired when I throw my South Beach Living meal in the face of the cafeteria lady who for the past nine years, has been a human barometer of The Size of Moxie's Ass: (chuckling smugly) "I see you dun went'n gained back all that weight you had lost." I will have to fight the urge to respond with, "I'm fat and you're stupid, but I can diet. Stupid is permanent, too bad for you."
So…there's almost no greater motivator than public humiliation group support. This morning I re-registered for SparkPeople. I used it last summer and it helped keep me on track long enough for about a 25 lb weight loss. SparkPeople is like an online one-stop shop for weight loss and best of all, it's completely free. It helps you develop reasonable weight loss goals, formulates a meal plan (or lets you create your own, if you prefer), creates a cardio and weight training exercise plan, and provides community support for your weight loss efforts.
I've noticed that several people in the blogosphere are currently
trying to lose weight or just generally get into better shape, so we
may as well support one another with those goals as well. I've started a weight loss group on SparkPeople called IF Losers. Click here to access the group. From there, you can also sign up for SparkPeople. Enter my user name for the referral: SmartOneMoxie. Once you join, if you encourage other people to enroll, have them enter your user name for the referral. If you join up, post about it on your blog so you can help "Spread the Spark". The more, the merrier.
***Do you know what movie this line was in?