Classified

Some ads on SMO are just downright funny, and a bit scary considering the subject matter at hand. Copied and pasted directly from the classifieds with snarky commentary from yours truly:

  • 2nd time surrogant available for August.  More disturbing than the fact that she can‘t even spell surrogate (in her ad, she misspelled it twice), is the fact that she has already been a surrogate and she still can’t spell the word.
  • i am 29 years old my bday 12-10-78 i am 5ft 2in iway 150 i work daily. You work, but did you pass elementary school English? Or, did you mean that you work out daily, since within the context of what you’ve written, you just said that you way 150. Pounds, I’m assuming.
  • I am ready to begin medications asap and would like to time conception
    for any time between the end of September and October to avoid delivery
    from interfering with summer vacation.
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I could cut this one to pieces in so many different ways, but I can’t stop laughing long enough to do so.
  • Wish to be surrogant! Though
    I’ve never had a child yet, I look forwad to being pregnant.
    No health
    issues.
    I am medically tested and have been educated about the surrogancy role. Aaarrrrgggh, again with the surrogant! You’ve been “educated” about the surrogacny role, but has no one told you how to spell it, either? Most importantly, it’s probably a good idea to know that you can handle a pregnancy both emotionally and physically before you carry a pregnancy for others. Some women don’t have health issues until they become pregnant. It’s too risky for most intended parents to work with someone who has never been pregnant before, agencies usually require that a woman has given birth to and be raising at least one child, and a clinic would likely never accept you in the first place.

What you SHOULD state upfront is how you feel about race if it makes a difference to you. It’s understandable if you’re looking for a traditional surrogate, but if you’re a Caucasian intended parent and you only want a Caucasian gestational surrogate, say it in your ad and don’t waste my time. You sho’ don’t want us coloreds rubbin’ nothin’ off on yo’ chirrens.

27 Comments

  1. Miss W on July 31, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Saw those exact ads myself and couldn’t stop laughing! Didn’t they even read the title across the top of their browser windows? It very clearly says “Surrogate Mothers Online.”



  2. debbie on July 31, 2008 at 5:47 pm

    Too funny. And to think, I’m jumping through every hoop possible to adopt and right around the corner in baby making world it seems anyone can be a surrogant! Who knew? What is up with the ignorance?



  3. Alex on July 31, 2008 at 6:06 pm

    Moxie,
    Oh dear (especially on the “delivery from interfering…” I think my husband would often like to be delivered from the summer vacation plans I make…maybe he should look into surrogacy!). Good luck in the next part of your journey.
    I was interested by your comment on the white IPs not wanting a black surrogate, having recently read Liza Mundy’s book _Everything conceivable : how assisted reproduction is changing men, women, and the world_. She suggests that black surrogates are often preferred (to white surrogates) by white IPs since the presumption is that, that way, it’s obvious “whose baby” it is (since we all know that it’s impossible to parent a child with a skin color different from your own — er, note: sarcasm!!). What’s your sense of how this issue plays out IRL?



  4. Moxie on July 31, 2008 at 6:17 pm

    “What’s your sense of how this issue plays out IRL?”
    I’m composing a lengthier post on that very topic, Alex. šŸ™‚



  5. Io on July 31, 2008 at 6:18 pm

    If I needed a surrogate, I would TOTALLY want you carrying my children. Is that weird? I just said I want you to have my baby… heh.



  6. Aunt Becky on July 31, 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Wow. Just. Wow. I can’t imagine wanting to speak further with any of those women.



  7. Moxie on July 31, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Io, I’d totally let you knock me up. šŸ™‚



  8. Nikki on July 31, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    LOL – the only thing that strikes me is how “SURROGANT” rhymes with “IGNORANT”



  9. JuliaKB on July 31, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    Holy crap on a stick! And I mean that about the white IPs not wanting a black surrogate. I guess I am still naive enough that that would shock me. WTF?
    Looking forward to your post on the topic.



  10. PJ on July 31, 2008 at 8:28 pm

    Two words: Spel chek!
    Moxie, I love to read your blog. I think if I needed a surrogate, I’d definitely call you. I had my husband read your post about Branjolina, and he said you sounded very cool!
    I think I could do the pregnancy part though, IF ONLY we can get to the damned retrieval and transfer parts!!!



  11. StoopidMonky on July 31, 2008 at 8:29 pm

    My RE recently mentioned the idea of a surroGANT. We ran with it and started spending billions of hours online reserching the good the bad and some of the uglyness. I saw that ad on there and it made me take a long breath and I quickly thought to myself… “Is this who we are trusting our childrens life with” But then I brushed it off and went on looking and dreaming. Mind if I link?



  12. stephanie on July 31, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    Oh, that’s so scary AND funny! I love reading your posts, and I love what you do for other people. Good luck finding a nice couple to help. šŸ™‚



  13. Carrie on July 31, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    I know this isn’t the same thing. But, on the nanny site I was visiting I, too, could not handle the stupidity. I wouldn’t respond to someone who couldn’t spell words correctly or didn’t believe in punctuation.
    Obviously many of these women have no idea what they are wanting.



  14. Z's Mom on July 31, 2008 at 9:18 pm

    Hi Moxie…thanks for stopping by my little blog today.
    I really liked your post about Pink….that is some great insight. I wish you luck on getting pregnant too! The last sentence in this post is HILARIOUS!!!!



  15. Alex on July 31, 2008 at 10:05 pm

    Thanks, Moxie — look forward to your (longer) post!



  16. sara on July 31, 2008 at 11:01 pm

    Oh gee – yikes the surrogant thing is funny and sad at the same time. I never really thought about race and surrogacy I guess. I mean really – why would someone not want their a great person to share the surrogacy journey with due to differences in race? But that’s just me I guess. Like I said before – if we had not had our IVFs work and had gone down that path as we planned – I would had been one freakin lucky girl to travel the journey with you. And someone else will be so lucky to share that with you. Part of why those adds you shared bothered me is because it just makes me appreciate what a great person you are even more! ((hugs))



  17. anymommy on July 31, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    Oh wow. This made me laugh and feel sad all at the same time. It must be so painful for intended parents, trying to wade through that mire to find someone like you. And, I know I shouldn’t be this naive, and I’m not, really, but REALLY?! Really parents have rejected you because you are not Caucasian. I so do not want that to be true. It breaks my heart for my daughter.



  18. SCY on August 1, 2008 at 7:22 am

    Ignorance is bliss…. or in this case clearly not! *sigh* nothing burns my ire than people who do not check their grammar and spelling – especially for something this important! Doesn’t anyone proof read their own words anymore!
    And I am shocked to hear that someone turned you down cos you are not Caucasian… *sigh* All I can say is “completely their loss”…



  19. SCY on August 1, 2008 at 7:26 am

    Ooops! My ire was so great that my own grammar suffered a bit there – should be a question mark after the “doesn’t anyone…” comment… šŸ˜‰



  20. Bec on August 1, 2008 at 8:37 am

    Maybe you should fill those *insert expletives here* ahem, ‘white people’ in on the whole concept of lasagne…More later; I’ll finally have internet at home tonight (with any luck)! Love you and happy first day of pre-planning!



  21. Shelli on August 1, 2008 at 9:09 am

    I don’t even know you and I would choose you in a heartbeat!
    Some people are just freaks. So scary.



  22. tash on August 1, 2008 at 9:37 am

    I dunno, I’m feeling a bit surrogant today myself.
    And YEEEEESH, I’m struggling to understand the racism. I simply can’t wrap my head around it. Wanting a child so badly you’re willing to take this route, wanting the very best surrogate possible for your child, and turning them down because of race? I’m half wondering if they don’t get basic biology. This is sad on many levels. Makes me fear a bit for their intended children.



  23. MomMega on August 1, 2008 at 11:39 am

    As someone before me stated, this post makes me laugh and makes me sad all at the same time. I have a hard time understanding why someone wouldn’t want to put their “best face” forward when they are trying to be chosen for something. Of course, if they are going to be chosen based on race alone anyway, then what difference does it make…Hard to believe that such ignorant people exsist.



  24. Rayven, 2x Gestational Surrogate on August 1, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Wow. When I was in the process of matching for my first surrogacy, I was given a profile from a couple in South Africa. Now, I am educated enough to realize that there are TONS of white people in South Africa, but when the profile clearly stated (TWICE) that they did not want to work with someone of a different race, and didn’t mention what race they were, I began to wonder. Of course, they were white. I am too, but something about that just didn’t sit well with me so I passed.
    Some people just don’t get it. šŸ™



  25. murgdan on August 2, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    OMG!! Hahahah. YAY! There are idiots everywhere! You KNOW I love this post. šŸ™‚ Wow. An ‘pregnat ignorant surrogant’–just what everyone needs. Great.



  26. Becky on August 2, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    I love your blog. Thank you so much for writing it. My husband and I are white and are the proud parents of FOUR African-American toddlers/babies (I say it with such emphasis because my three boys just added their sister three months ago and I still can’t believe it). I can’t believe all the idiots out there. I’m so sorry you’ve had to endure that. I started reading your blog when my husband and I were searching for our daughter. If she hadn’t found us, I would have totally emailed you asking you to help guide me through the surrogacy world. You have such a sense of humor about it, it’s refreshing. It’s kind of like adopting, you have to have a sense of humor or you’d spend your life in the closet crying (can you tell I’ve had my moments?). Anyway, I just wanted to reassure you that there are people out there still who think color doesn’t matter and that black is beautiful. My new daughter is a perfect example!



  27. G'ma to be on August 3, 2008 at 12:16 pm

    I see that you are also following “Our Buns Are in Someone Else’s Oven.” Your recent comment on her blog indicated that you are interested in seeing the surrogacy experience from an IP’s point of view. You may be interested in this blog: http://andbabymakesfive.wordpress.com/
    where both the IP mom and the surro-mom post on a regular basis.