Matchmaker, matchmaker make me a match

One of my life's greatest simple pleasures is belting out show tunes at the top of my lungs on the drive home or when I'm in the shower, but that saccharine ditty from Fiddler on the Roof is one that I've always thought was particularly nauseating.

Surrogacy matching feels a bit like speed dating. Better yet, it's more like putting a puzzle together. You start with the edges and lay the basic framework with your personal expectations. Then, you work your way from the outside in. With some replies to my ad, I can pass the opportunity over with a polite "thanks, but no thanks," in much the same way that you would pick up one puzzle piece and quickly exchange it for another, knowing that from just a glance it's not the fit you're looking for. Other pieces seem to have the right shape, size, and color, so you hold it longer. You roll it around in your hands a bit, twisting it this way and that to see if there is a fit in the border you've already pieced together. If that one piece fits you keep going, and so on and so on until you find yourself matched, cycling, and headed for transfer. The jigsaw isn't complete until after delivery, when the full image of all the interlocked pieces match the picture promised on the box.

Three couples. One is close to discard, one I'm scrutinizingly twisting around, and one which seems like a perfect fit.

We shall see.

9 Comments

  1. Carrie on August 8, 2008 at 8:31 am

    3 is better then the one you had been looking at. I hope the perfect works out!



  2. Miss W on August 8, 2008 at 9:23 am

    I was wondering how that was going! So, so happy you’re making progress ๐Ÿ™‚ Here’s hoping your puzzle keeps coming together!



  3. Intending To Be Parents on August 8, 2008 at 9:48 am

    I hope all of the pieces fall into place! From what I read you sound like a wonderful person with a huge heart and IPs would be so lucky to have you! I hope you find the perfect match ๐Ÿ™‚



  4. JuliaKB on August 8, 2008 at 11:27 am

    Best of luck!
    Would you be able to talk more about the things that draw you to some couples and push you away from others? If you can do that, I would love to read about it. Surrogacy has the potential to be such an intimate relationship, and thus, with a huge potential to either flourish or crash and burn (seems to me, from waaaaaaay over here), that I think it would be fascinating to hear your thoughts on this.



  5. Becky on August 8, 2008 at 5:18 pm

    Dude, that’s awesome! I’m impressed that you have some matches already!



  6. anymommy on August 8, 2008 at 11:37 pm

    So exciting! I’d also love to read (in general terms) about the criteria you use when you are considering couples. It must be so hard to stay objective and make a good decision.



  7. MomMega on August 8, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    Yay! I am keeping all my appendages crossed for you!
    Like others said, I would be interested in reading about how you choose a couple…I am completely fascinated by you!



  8. Io on August 10, 2008 at 11:03 pm

    It is so cool to listen to this part of your life.



  9. sara on August 11, 2008 at 1:00 am

    Oh Moxie – how cool is that to hear you have one that seems really good and another worth looking at further! I see that others have asked in above comments….but I was kind of wondering the same thing about this part of the process. If you have the time, and feel comfortable sharing…would you be willing to say some of the things you consider most important when looking at a couple to work with? I just am fascinated by all of this and you have such priceless experience with this amazing and awesome area. How’s school going?