Coming up for air

The next time I have to find new IPs, remind me not to do it right at the start of a new school year, mmmkay? Just kidding. But seriously – balancing the start of the school year and finding new IPs has been more to balance than expected. Much of my time the past few days has been spent reading and sending lengthy emails from potential intended parents. I am pleasantly pleased, though, because this is my fourth time going through the matching phase and I have received far more replies to my ad this time than I ever have before. I should restate that – I have received more appropriate replies to my ad this time, replies from people who actually engage in conversation and seem prepared begin their surrogacy journeys. I haven't received any of the customary, eye-rolling, uneducated one-liners like, "You seem nice I want to work with you but first how much do you charge?" With the exception of the couple who wanted to cycle with a clinic in the Czech Republic and offered the use of their time share in Malibu for a "much-deserved vacation post-delivery," each of the couples I have talked to thus far have been pleasant, organized, and respectable.

Several people commented asking for more information about this phase of a surrogacy journey, and I realized that while I've discussed at length many of the emotional aspects to surrogacy, I haven't yet delved into most of the technical aspects. I began composing a post this weekend and realized that I don't have enough time on my plate to fit it all into one entry. So, I'll chop it down into manageable chunks for a series that I'm going to call Surrogacy 101. I'll try to present issues objectively from both the surrogate and intended parent perspectives, then subjectively from my personal perspective. I hope to have the first entry posted by late tonight.

In the meantime, let me know what's going on with you in your world. I have nearly 100 unread posts in my Google Reader. I do plan on going through to read every one of them, but help a sista out and tell me what you've been up to lately. If this is your first visit or you're a lurker, now would be a good time to introduce yourself!

21 Comments

  1. Jendeis on August 11, 2008 at 10:12 am

    Hey girl. Nothing much going on here. Hope the chaos of school starting and the IP search settles down soon. 🙂



  2. Carrie on August 11, 2008 at 11:24 am

    I figured you had to be busy with IP’s to not be posting as much. I can’t wait to hear all about it. Oh, how I miss our morning and afternoon conversations on our drive to and from work. I feel so out of the loop. It sucks! But, so does sitting on your ass all day long every damn day.



  3. Amanda on August 11, 2008 at 12:53 pm

    100 unread posts…that’s a lot of catching up to do! We just have lots more doctors appts and tests coming up for little Brooklyn. We went to see one out of town specialist and came back home with 3. She turned 5 months yesterday though!
    I look forward to reading your Surrogacy 101 posts.



  4. Mtnhighmama on August 11, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    I remember searching for IPs, Moxie, and it’s exhausting. I’m glad to hear that you are getting actual responses. Whoever you connect with will be extremely lucky.
    I’m transferring in just over a month. I’m really hoping it works this time. With each cycle, it gets harder and harder. I’ve had a nice long break, though, so maybe this one will be gentler.
    And, I’ve fallen in love. That’s my big news.



  5. Kari on August 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    I started bcp’s for my upcoming 3rd transfer with my current IP’s. 3rd times supposed to be a charm right? lets hope so! No dates yet but hopefully I know some soon!



  6. Danielle on August 11, 2008 at 2:00 pm

    Good luck reading all your posts and with you IP’s. The beginning of the school year is a VERY cray time. Have a good day and take care.
    -D



  7. Kathy on August 11, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    I look forward reading your “Surogacy 101” posts!!! I am facinated by it and that you have chosen to do this and probably share a lot of uneducated questions that some of the people who have contacted you have.
    As for what’s new w/ me. Crazy busy and overprogrammed as usual! Just back from a family vacation and trying to settle back in, unpack, etc. I didn’t think about Molly a lot on vacation, just enjoyed the days away w/ Bob and Sean, but as soon as I got home I was reminded of what has happened with our family and that can be kind of harsh sometimes. My newest niece was also born one week ago today! We are so happy and excited, but it is also a bit bittersweet as she and Molly would have been so close in age. So that’s my update… I gotta get back to housework, like the good SAHM that I am or at least try to be…



  8. JuliaKB on August 11, 2008 at 4:49 pm

    Looking forward to the 101 series.
    Nothing much over here, just me and my couch. Hope to have a new post up tonight, so that will add to your reader, I suppose. Sorry about that. 🙂



  9. luna on August 11, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    yeah you know where I’m at…
    hope this series will go up on bridges too…
    hey, I hear the czech republic is more affordable than US clinics. great for a gal who doesn’t want to fly, right?!



  10. Kate on August 11, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    Not a first time visitor, but a first time commenter. I’m also a first time GS due in 6 weeks. I love your writing!



  11. anymommy on August 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    I just have to say how much fun I’m having commenting every day after lurking for so long! (It isn’t annoying yet, is it?) I’m really interested to read the surrogacy series. As far as life here, a little poop sampling, walks, naps, snacks, hide and seek, the usual!



  12. Eva on August 12, 2008 at 7:33 am

    Wow. You are juggling a lot. I don’t know how you do it. Good luck with everything. I will be reading. Um, what’s going on with me? I’m waiting for IVF, what else? xo



  13. Io on August 12, 2008 at 10:11 am

    Al and I have his four year old niece and six year old nephew this week. I’m trying to figure out how you people with kids find time to blog.



  14. TeamWinks on August 12, 2008 at 10:12 am

    I look forward reading your Surogacy 101 posts too. It’s always interesting to learn about something new.
    As far as news. Um, we are 5 weeks 5 days today. Waiting for the heartbeat scan.



  15. Jen on August 12, 2008 at 3:07 pm

    I’ve been a bad blogger and a bit boring. And I stare at my belly every time I go in to the bathroom hoping my two tummies become one eventually… Oh, and my in-laws, their dog and 40-foot RV are visiting through the end of the month.



  16. StoopidMonkey on August 12, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    You sure are busy 🙂
    I am looking forward to your 101’s, because I want to understand how GS feel as I had a talk with my RE and he feels that the reason IUI’s keep failing and having m/c’c is because of the scar tissue so they are not sticking properly. He said why waist money and just go straight for a GS after this cycle ends.
    I’ve been trying to keep myself buy durring the 2ww by re-modling the kitchen. I was naughty and POAS and BFN… I keep telling myself it’s still early and still could happen.
    Hope you find your wonderful IPs!



  17. wishing4one on August 12, 2008 at 5:52 pm

    hey girl, i miss u. i too have sucked at bloggin and visiting my sistas lately. I am looking SO forward to surrogacy 101, i am so intrigued by what you do for others this way. Nothing new here other than starting as a Kindergarten teacher, LOL, first time for me. Working now but no kids…..i will be emailing you soon, bet on that. xoxoxoxox



  18. wishing4one on August 12, 2008 at 5:54 pm

    I am such a LOSER, i just figured out IP’s were your intended parents and not internet addresses, LOL. It IS almost 1AM here… good night from your loser sista in Cairo. xoxoxoxo



  19. sara on August 12, 2008 at 6:25 pm

    You sound like you are a busy gal with all the school and surrogacy matching, makes my head spin! Thanks for taking the time to share stuff with us in that format you talked about – I am looking forward to learning some more about the matching and what not. Hmm, nothing too new with me. We’re 23 weeks now with Spot. I spent the weekend in the hospital because I was contracting every 2-3 minutes, got some rounds of terbutaline, realized how much I hate overnights at the hospital (same place I work), and am so happy to be home. But we’re hanging in there. I know it’s a blip in the radar in the grand scheme of things, and am trying to decide on a name for the little girl. Hope you are doing good too, and that things settle down a bit for you to catch your breath soon! ((hugs))



  20. Alison on August 12, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    Hi Moxie, I am a lurker no more. I found your blog while researching surrogacy. I hope to be able to donate my eggs in the near future and after a successful pregnancy of my own, consider surrogacy. I love your blog. Oh and please keep updating us with the silly games you play with your kids, “Your momma don’t wear no drawers” still cracks me up :)Thanks for the laughs!



  21. susan on August 12, 2008 at 8:15 pm

    heh! i haven’t figured out the blog feeds yet! I guess that’s why I’m always so behind. Anyway, i think i’m in full swing 3rd trimester. i can’t get comfortable at night, my back constantly hurts, my feet are always swollen, but hey I did a lot of shopping online last week, so I’m expecting several packages on my door step this week. Woo hoo! My BIG shower is this saturday, close to 100 guests I suppose. DH assembled our crib today! It’s big, oh no! my room is small! I ALMOST forgot! Well, again … Happy New Year!