Fierce

Confession – I have a wild desire to get all glammed up in drag by some outrageously fabulous queens and spend a night in a raucous bar singing and voguing to songs like Boogie Fever and It's Raining Men. I'd stuff my blubber into a DROP TWO DRESS SIZES NOW body slimmer, adjust my abundant cleavage into a push-up bra just so, stretch on shiny stockings, and snake my way into something like a bright fuscia, sequin-sparkled evening gown adorned with plumes purple feathers. My hair – a bodacious neon blue bouffant with sparkly silver accents. Make-up? Caked to perfection. A diva I would be.

I would be audacious and brazen, bold and daring. I'd say the first thing that came to mind and truly wouldn't care what anyone thought of me, but it wouldn't matter anyway because everyone would love me and my witticisms so much that they all leaned in to hear me speak above Gloria Gaynor's affirmation that she will survive.

I love the idea of being an overexaggeration of yourself and giving her a new name and a new face, and of being accepted by the people around you because they also are exaggerations of themselves. You're so emboldened by your new persona that you and she simply can't fit under one name. Your given name is far too commonplace and there is no room for your alter-ego within its restraints. She needs a ridiculously fanciful name like Noxeema Jackson, Vida Boheme, or Chi-Chi Rodriguez or a play on words like Hedda Lettuce, Annida Greenkard, or Sherry Vine. I think I would be Charlemagne* Attraction, but everyone would call me Charlie. Maybe Charlie Traction.

What would your drag queen name be? Lacking inspiration? Try this: Drag Queen Name Generator**

*Homage to Kid Charlemagne, one of my favorite Steely Dan songs.

**Even though I have selected a drag queen name, I tried the generator and it said my name is "Monica Tension".

Here are the results different generator:


Your Drag Queen Name Is:


Sofonda Dildos

Drag Queen Name Generator

Ooookay. I think Sofonda Dildocam is quite fitting. Play along for fun.

If you decide to play along on your own blog, let us know so we can all see who your alter-diva is! Be fierce.

38 Comments

  1. Nikki on August 22, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    LOL – can I come watch when you go out like that?? I totally lacked creativity, so I went on the link you gave, and my Drag name would be Devine Intervention (spelt like that too!!). If only I could get some divine intervention in my real life too 😉



  2. Carrie on August 22, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    OMG, that episode was too funny, especially when the drag queens came in as men to get fitted.
    I am going to think and come up with a creative name and get back to you.



  3. Moxie on August 22, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    Nikki, you’d have to dress up with me so we could party together! “Devine Intervention” – I love it!



  4. Angry IF on August 22, 2008 at 7:00 pm

    I love drag shows!! And queens!!! Too bad I bet you live too far away to go together. If you are ever in the Indy area, we can go. 🙂



  5. Moxie on August 22, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Aw crap! Angry, I’d LOVE to go to a drag show with you. Too bad I live all the way down in the Dirty South. If I’m ever up that way, you’re taking me out for a night on the town! You didn’t tell me your drag name!



  6. Nikki on August 22, 2008 at 8:07 pm

    Ok – deal. I’ll dress up with you but only when we DON’T need the “DROP 2 DRESS SIZES NOW” thingy! What say?



  7. Moxie on August 22, 2008 at 8:13 pm

    Agreed, Nikki. No girdles allowed. 🙂



  8. nycphoenix on August 22, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    hmph it said that my name is Anita Mann! Boo! Hiss!
    anyway i got my drag queen name a play on my alcoholic days:
    Rose O’Shotz



  9. Io on August 22, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    Heh. I went as a drag queen for Halloween once and it was my most favorite costume EVER. I had six inch platform heels with japanese cartoons on them and and completely sequined dress and big wig. I think it’s getting to go so overboard with female-ness.
    Of course, my sister is a real drag king. Which is not as fun, but still very cool. And I think the shows are actually better.



  10. Moxie on August 22, 2008 at 9:23 pm

    Rose O’Shotz – I am seriously crackin’ up over that. I LOVE it!
    Io – any pics?



  11. Jenn on August 22, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    I’m Jane Manhands. Sigh.
    (ICLW)



  12. E on August 22, 2008 at 11:45 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for a while now and am kinda in love with you (in as non-creepy a way as I could be for an um… internet stranger). This post just solidifies it.
    So, hi. *waving* This is me de-lurking. I’m a 31yo adoption-as-a-first-choice mom to two at the beginning of a TS journey as a surro with untested fertility meeting potential IFs next weekend. *whew!*
    Nice to ‘meet’ you, and thank you for all you’ve shared here… it’s been extremely helpful re: my education.



  13. Cindy on August 23, 2008 at 7:36 am

    Hmmmm. My drag queen name is “Anita Mann”…
    🙂



  14. Calliope on August 23, 2008 at 8:14 am

    I love me some drag as well!! I love the Drag Kings and the Drag Queens. I just love me a good show!
    My Drag name is: Crystal Titz



  15. Moxie on August 23, 2008 at 8:28 am

    Hi, E! I’m glad you decided to delurk, because then I might never have found your blog. I left a few comments over there for you and I am completely and totally enthralled now. I’m anxious to watch your journey continue to unfold, and I wish you and DA and DB all the best. Now that you’ve delurked, you have to STAY delurked. No more hiding!
    Cindy: “Anita Mann” … too funny.
    Cali: I think yours is one of the best yet!



  16. Shanez on August 23, 2008 at 9:17 am

    hahahaha This is too crazy. My drag queen name is……..Krystal Titz. I almost fell out of the chair laughing.



  17. M de P on August 23, 2008 at 9:45 am

    According to the generator, my drag name is Charlamaine Invention. Hmmmm… I think I might go with something like Chica Licious.



  18. Carrie on August 23, 2008 at 10:35 am

    I couldn’t think of anything too creative yet…but I did use the newest generator you posted and I like the name: Marsha Mellow. I guess I would be dressing in all white with some funky Marge Simpson height hair as well.



  19. jessica on August 23, 2008 at 11:39 am

    Wouldn’t that be fun?!
    Mine is Tess Tosterone! lol
    ICLW



  20. Baby Smiling In Back Seat on August 23, 2008 at 1:15 pm

    Here from ICLW…
    The drag queen name generator is fantastic!
    My name:
    Mama Mammaries
    Ha! I’ve got the mammaries part, working on the mama part.
    Thanks for the laugh.



  21. susan on August 23, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    Actually, I have a stage name already. It’s Blaze ‘n Pepper! (These are actual names of two children I met at a friend’s house) One’s name is Blaze and one’s name is Pepper. I thought it would make a sassy stage name …



  22. susan on August 23, 2008 at 3:11 pm

    You should come visit for the Southern Decadence Ball!



  23. christina on August 23, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    My name would be NuPaul. That’s okay because I always got a kick out of RuPaul.
    btw, PLEASE take a picture when you decide to do yourself up to the description! it would make a great halloween costume.
    iclw



  24. Jaymee on August 24, 2008 at 12:17 am

    let me know when and where, i will be there with bells on. i can not say i share the desire, but i am happy to cheer you on.
    Thank you for all your wonderful comments and support. It means more than you will ever know.
    (ILCW)



  25. Trish on August 24, 2008 at 1:04 am

    Smiling here at the very thought of me in drag too.
    Here from IComLeavWe… (adoption,pregnancy loss, IVF twins)
    My Little Drummer Boys



  26. Rebecca on August 24, 2008 at 1:08 am

    Haha, mine is Helena Handbasket 🙂
    Maybe I’ll have to do the drag thing next time Mardi Gras rolls around!
    ~ICLW~



  27. stacie on August 24, 2008 at 3:06 am

    Rachel Temple Monroe here! How funny. Thanks for sharing this. I can’t wait to send the link to the people I know! Too bad I don’t know enough about makeup to even consider being a drag queen.
    Here from ICLW.



  28. Kate on August 24, 2008 at 12:13 pm

    Here form ICLW. That is hilarious!! Great name.



  29. Andrea on August 24, 2008 at 3:06 pm

    This is hysterical! I love it! I think I will post my drag queen name for tomorrow’s post!



  30. Danielle on August 24, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    AHAHAHA I love love LOVE it!!! Yes..pics pics pics and lots of em! Holy s*&t…my drag queen name is “Zsa Zsa LaHore”. I LOVE it! It’s a perfect fit for me!



  31. Michelle on August 24, 2008 at 3:33 pm

    Your drag name is so much cooler then mine. Mine is Miracle Welsley. Now I am having visions of Wesley Snipes in To Wong Foo, which is quite disturbing.



  32. Amber on August 24, 2008 at 7:41 pm

    Ivana Dick.
    Pretty fitting, actually, considering I’m a straight woman attempting to get a drag persona. Step one: acquire penis.
    Fun!
    (Here from ICLW)



  33. chrissy on August 24, 2008 at 11:05 pm

    here from Icomleavwe…
    too funny!!!! I will have to see what my drag name is! great idea for halloween – wonder if I could pull it off?



  34. Susan on August 25, 2008 at 12:05 am

    Moxie,,
    Too fun! You would have fit right in at a place that Ethan and I went to the other night to see a friend;s “show”
    I’m sure you would be an overnight sensation here in the big city!!!!!!
    Susan



  35. Nicole on August 25, 2008 at 11:11 am

    I’m not sure what my drag queen name would be…you had me at the “DROP TWO DRESS SIZES NOW” slimmer. Where might one find one of these?? 🙂
    ICLW



  36. Seriously? on August 25, 2008 at 11:50 am

    Here from ICLW. I saw the project runway with the drag queens and was amazed. Those girls are fierce. I really liked the pink sailor suit.
    I didn’t use your quiz to get my name but using the rules we always had here my drag name is Cinnamon Independence!



  37. tash on August 26, 2008 at 11:30 am

    Shanda Intervention.
    Seriously, WTF? Am I the hot chick who goes around and signs people up for rehab after hours? This is just sad.



  38. Lady Bits on August 26, 2008 at 1:34 pm

    I don’t get it. My Drag Queen Name is apparently Monica Tension. Huh? I prefer my pornstar name: Baggypuss Marsh.