Confession – I have a wild desire to get all glammed up in drag by some outrageously fabulous queens and spend a night in a raucous bar singing and voguing to songs like Boogie Fever and It's Raining Men. I'd stuff my blubber into a DROP TWO DRESS SIZES NOW body slimmer, adjust my abundant cleavage into a push-up bra just so, stretch on shiny stockings, and snake my way into something like a bright fuscia, sequin-sparkled evening gown adorned with plumes purple feathers. My hair – a bodacious neon blue bouffant with sparkly silver accents. Make-up? Caked to perfection. A diva I would be.
I would be audacious and brazen, bold and daring. I'd say the first thing that came to mind and truly wouldn't care what anyone thought of me, but it wouldn't matter anyway because everyone would love me and my witticisms so much that they all leaned in to hear me speak above Gloria Gaynor's affirmation that she will survive.
I love the idea of being an overexaggeration of yourself and giving her a new name and a new face, and of being accepted by the people around you because they also are exaggerations of themselves. You're so emboldened by your new persona that you and she simply can't fit under one name. Your given name is far too commonplace and there is no room for your alter-ego within its restraints. She needs a ridiculously fanciful name like Noxeema Jackson, Vida Boheme, or Chi-Chi Rodriguez or a play on words like Hedda Lettuce, Annida Greenkard, or Sherry Vine. I think I would be Charlemagne* Attraction, but everyone would call me Charlie. Maybe Charlie Traction.
What would your drag queen name be? Lacking inspiration? Try this: Drag Queen Name Generator**
*Homage to Kid Charlemagne, one of my favorite Steely Dan songs.
**Even though I have selected a drag queen name, I tried the generator and it said my name is "Monica Tension".
Here are the results different generator:
Your Drag Queen Name Is:
If you decide to play along on your own blog, let us know so we can all see who your alter-diva is! Be fierce.