Tunnel vision

If the future is a tunnel and at the end is a successful surrogacy journey, the last one felt murky and occluded, the end obscured by unfavorable statistics and doubt. I flirted with unbridled optimism and toyed with untainted hope, but it was mere delusion. I attempted to set a pace and frame of mind parallel to Mia's, but doing so meant suppressing the gnawing pulse at the pit of my instinct which droned this is not their answer.

But now, standing just inside the rounded edge of this new passageway, I feel a greater potential for making it through to the other side. The way through is dark and not without obstacle, and uneven shapes of a shadowed past threaten to creep underfoot and along the curved walls. But the obstructions feel fewer and the path passable. Not at odds with my inner voice, my bones hum with the vibrato of synchronicity with a delicate, but determined Chance. Together, we are embracing happenstance.

7 Comments

  1. Mel on September 13, 2008 at 8:05 am

    I loved this post. So well-written. And I love how you just reminded me of the word happenstance.



  2. Calliope on September 13, 2008 at 8:54 am

    goodebumps



  3. Kari on September 13, 2008 at 10:33 am

    I am on my tippy toes with anticipation of following this new journey, from both perspectives since the two of you are bloggers, this is gonna be fun!! Good luck to everyone!!



  4. journey to junior on September 13, 2008 at 12:03 pm

    wow, this is an amazing development! so, so excited for all of you!



  5. Danielle on September 13, 2008 at 1:38 pm

    WOW, that’s really the only word that comes to mind. Good luck and much much success!
    -hugs,
    D



  6. tash on September 13, 2008 at 1:50 pm

    To say I’m excited for both of you is a massive understatement. Determination and strength are needed for both of you. I’m grabbing my antacid, holding your hands, and jumping on for the ride. Looking forward into the darkness with both you, believe me.



  7. Alicia on September 15, 2008 at 2:08 pm

    wow what an excellent post! so amazingly written!!! I am so excited for your journey and can’t wait to read all about it!