Busted

Edited to add: Luna read this post earlier and reminded me that I have once before discussed the overabundant size of my boobs. Here's the link: GG. If you want to see an oh-so sexy picture of Frank, click it. Trust me. 


You know your boobs are too big when…

…your neck disappears if you lay back without a bra on.

…your neck disappears if you lay back with a bra on.

…you can only shop for bras online or from catalogs because you could never find those extra-wide strap, four-hook closure, double parachutes in the stores.

…you never have to worry about nipple protrusion because with the use of the Roll and Tuck maneuver, you can roll your nipple and tuck it under the rest of your boob.

…you can plug your nipple into your navel.

You might think I am over-exaggerating, but I assure you I am not. I could drop half of what I have and still have too much. I have my own built-in floatation devices.

If you got 'em, add 'em. If you're on the opposite end of the spectrum and you're a part of the IBTC*, feel free to complete You know your boobs are too small when….

I could use a good laugh today.

*Itty Bitty Titty Committee. I know you're out there.

18 Comments

  1. Bleu on October 10, 2008 at 10:19 am

    You know they are too big when they are bigger than your head.



  2. Nikki on October 10, 2008 at 10:50 am

    – When you roll your eyes at the commercials for padded bras and push up bras
    – When you are delighted to find a “minimizer” bra – hey, even 1/2 an inch matters!!
    – When you cannot even dream of going bra-less!!
    Good one Moxie!



  3. Jessica on October 10, 2008 at 11:09 am

    This year marks my 10th anniversary of my breast reduction: I wore the largest size I could find a 38h, and it was too small. Now I’m a 38d/dd.
    I definitely commiserate with you.



  4. Kari on October 10, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    I dont loose my neck but mine deposit in my armpits if I lay down without a bra.



  5. Jen on October 10, 2008 at 12:34 pm

    I am always amazed when my best friend has to actually pick her boob up to put on her bra…



  6. luna on October 10, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    …when most of the bras you find in stores could only be used as earmuffs.
    I think this post may be deserving of an old photo of frank with the parachute hat, don’cha think? or maybe too many people read this now…



  7. luna on October 10, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    …when someone could get injured if you went bra-less



  8. Jendeis on October 10, 2008 at 1:39 pm

    44DDDD. Try Lane Bryant, hon.
    You know they are too big when you can use them (braless) to store your iPod while walking the dog at night.



  9. anymommy on October 10, 2008 at 5:31 pm

    Card carrying member of the IBTC!! You know they’re too small when your nipples are biggest bump you’ve got.



  10. Aunt Becky on October 10, 2008 at 6:13 pm

    I was a member of The A Team until I got pregnant with Ben. Lost the baby weight, retained the DD’s.
    And I say, you know you have big boobs when, standing without a bra, you can safely say that your boobs look like oranges in tube socks. WITHOUT TRYING TO BE FUNNY.



  11. Carrie on October 10, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    This reminds me of our drive back from Savannah. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.
    Time to add.
    You know your boobs are too small when your daugther points at them and says, “belly button”



  12. Amanda on October 10, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    All I can say is I am pissed that no one makes a 34G, especially not a nursing bra!!!



  13. chicklet on October 10, 2008 at 11:51 pm

    I have nothing witty but I just wanna write itty bitty titty committee – it’s too fun!



  14. luna on October 11, 2008 at 12:48 am

    oh those pix make me laugh every time I see them! I forgot about the second one…
    jendeis cracked me up too.
    reminds me, my aunt told me that her grandson compared her boobs to his perky mother’s and asked “why do yours point to the ground, gram?”



  15. Sarah on October 11, 2008 at 12:15 pm

    Too small when:
    The 34A padded push up has extra room and sticks out from your chest.
    No cleavage from a padded push up (ok, minimal)
    The two i’s in minimal look like your chest.
    Nothing bounces during exercise class.
    AF brings about a weeks worth of full A



  16. debbie on October 11, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    You know your boobs are too small when the sales lady at Nordstrom directs you to the JUNIORS DEPARTMENT!!!!



  17. Ms. J on October 11, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Thank you – I think it’s the first laugh I have had today (and today was the toughest one I have had in a couple of weeks).



  18. Kate on October 12, 2008 at 4:34 pm

    You know your boobs are too big when you can tuck an entire digital camera under one in order to smuggle it into a concert.