Email from coworker –
Addicted much, Melanie? I didn't realize anyone was counting.
She reads "that infertility stuff," but especially likes the happy sunshine posts about el Cinco and Frank the Fantastic Fartknocker.
So, for Melanie and anyone else sniffing around for the next Smart One fix, I will have a real post up tonight or tomorrow, but there won't be any star sprinkles and rainbow twinkles because my mood is in le toilete and is three spins away from a full flushing.
As an aside:
As I typed the above, an image of an animated turd with outstretched arms screaming "NOOOOO!!!" and swirling round and round in a flushed toilet floated into my mind. On one hand, that's disgusting. I am not in the habit of visualizing grossness like talking defecation and thinking such things are funny. You know those Mucinex commercials with the cartoon mucous and the Tinactin commercials with the talking foot fungus? Serious gross-out. If I'm eating when those types of commercials come on, I seriously have to look away, lest I get nauseous. On the other hand, I just totally cracked myself up with that thought, to the extent that I've given myself a borderline fit of the giggles. I have issues.
Help me get out of the toilet and tell me what some of your funny personality quirks are.
If I haven't been around, it's not 'cause I don't love ya. It's just…y'know – that whole toilet thing.