- Oh! You mean you actually wanted us to read the story?
- Can I get a progress report to take to my probation officer?
- I didn't bite her, she bit herself! Okay, I bit her, but she shouldn'ta put her hand in my face.
- written in a student's essay: The reason why I love my friends is because they support me for who I am. They do not care that I am biosexual [sic] and love me just for me.
- Seriously! That cheeseburger just flew out of my hand.
- Mrs. B, I'm going to be absent tomorrow because I have to have an autopsy to figure out what's wrong with my stomach.
- Tomorrow we don't have school because it's veterinarian's day, right? I don't get what's so special about veterinarians that we get a whole day off for it, but whatever. At least we don't have school tomorrow.
It's only Monday, people. And you wonder why I'm the Terminator?