An oldie but goodie

So – tomorrow's transfer has been set for 11:30. There is still a chance that we might get pushed to Sunday for a 5-day transfer. They'll call at O'dark-thirty in the morning to tell us whether we should get on the road for the 2 hour trip or sit tight until Sunday. I'm pretty sure we'll transfer tomorrow. Wish us sparkly unicorn rainbow farts.

Tomorrow after transfer, the fantastic four that is Chance, Apollo, Frank, and me will eat cookies and ice cream and barbecue or some other delicious Southern fare and we're going to wash it all down with gallons of root beer. And there will be cake. A Frank creation. Oh, yeah.

It will be a while before I can get my twitchy fingers back to their home on the keyboard, so I'll have my buddy Carrie post an update here for me tomorrow afternoon.

For tonight's pre-transfer funny, I'm totally cheating here and re-posting an entry from March 25, 2008. Can you add to the list? Give us something else to giggle over as we stuff ourselves with cake and attempt not to obsess over what is going on in my uterus.

HOW TO SCREW WITH YOUR RE ON TRANSFER OR IUI DAY:

  1. Write "THIS WAY" on the inside of one thigh and "INSERT HERE" on the inside of the other and draw arrows pointing to you know where on both.
  2. For bonus points, you can stick Tap Lights to the insides of your thighs. Simply squeeze your legs together to turn them on, then shout, "LET THERE BE LIGHT!" Tell your RE that you were just trying to be helpful.
  3. For a fresh transfer or IUI, bring in a brown paper sack with a lidded cup inside and hand it to your RE saying, "I decided not to procreate with my husband; I brought his friend's sperm instead because he's much cuter."
  4. Have hubby/partner give your RE a new stack of pornos while saying, "The selection in there is pretty bad. Have you seen all the neat things some girls can do with a string of beads, lately?"
  5. Shout, "Peekaboo!" when the RE lifts the blanket.
  6. Hand your RE one of these and ask if he or she will slip one on you after the transfer.

Ladies, if you got 'em, add 'em.

21 thoughts on “An oldie but goodie”

  1. I got nothing, but I’m still holding my breath for you and I’m turning blue. I hope it’s the absolutely most perfect transfer in the history of transfers.

  2. Good Luuuuuck!
    #5 made me spew coke all over my laptop. I have actually done that one! Thank God the doc had a sense of humor!

  3. Wishing you sparkly unicorn rainbow farts!!!! I’m being a horrible person right now and eating poptarts and I spit them all over MY keyboard when I read Heather’s comment! That’s great!
    HUGS and lots of GOOD LUCK!

  4. wishing you all the sparkle and rainbow farts you can handle. love the oldie but goodie. I never saw it the first time around so thanks for sharing again!

  5. Praying for a great transfer and a positive line in a couple of weeks.
    Your list of ways to screw with the RE – PRICELESS!! Ha ha, what a way to start my morning laughing my petutie off!

  6. AAiiiiiieeeeeee!!!! Sparkly unicorn farts FOR ALL.
    I’ve got nothing. I have half a mind to just call the dude and tell him please not to fuck this up. No pressure or anything.

  7. Good luck! I’m keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers.
    And wow. I love your list of how to screw with the RE. Because my doctor seems to think I am completely ignorant of everything reproductive related, and hates it when I ask questions, I’m thinking it would be fun to ask him, just after he’s threaded the catheter through my cervix for an IUI but just before he empties the syringe of its precious cargo, whether he thinks the fact I’m on these special “vitamins” in a shiny pink case that I take on specific cycle days and then have a break for a week during which I get my period have anything to do with me not being pregnant yet. I bet he would totally fall for it.
    Alternatively, act really blissed out as the catheter goes in and mutter “Thank God for crystal meth/gin/smack!”
    Ha. Now I’m going to be thinking of all kinds of things all day.

  8. You are a sick, twisted woman Moxie. That must be why I love you so much. When I went ion for my c-section with Gabe, I waited until after the nurse prepped me and had my hubby write (in washable marker) “Install Zipper Here” with an arrow pointing to the old c-section scar.
    Best of luck and lots of prayers for you guys.

  9. Good luck and that is too funny! I love your sick sense of humor. Did I ever tell you about our one anesthsiologist how he always has the woman sign her consent form for anesthesia by balancing the piece of paper on one of the porn magazines to make signing it easier? Sick but true! Can’t wait to hear an update!

  10. I think that I would wait until he told me to put my feet in the stirrups, feign ignorance, and insist that he told me the transfer would be done laproscopically and that I couldn’t go on because I hadn’t shaved my legs!
    Oh, I hope all goes well. This is so exciting!

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