Today is my first blogoversary (a huge accomplishment on
my part). Surprisingly, I find myself with little to say when in the days leading up to it, I
thought there would be so much.
I read back through many of my posts from the past year, especially those from my last 2 two-week waits in March and June. I was surprised by how much it seemed like I had to say back then. For some reason, this feels like a time to be quiet — to hunker down with my thoughts and be blanketed by the hope I am allowing myself to feel. You can't shout about something like that. It seems somehow foolhardy to even admit to the fact that I do feel hopeful. There is never any solid evidence of which way a cycle will go. I have no concrete reason — no sudden light and booming voice, no burning bush, no prophetic arrangement of tea leaves, no celestial alignment — to believe that this will work. Yet, the feeling is there. I have to embrace that in the here and now because when you get right down to it, that's all any of us have.
So I will lay down with it, curl it softly around my shoulders and tuck my spirit into the warmth it provides. It slows my anxious heart and quiets my mind.
For today, there is that.
Thank you all so much for the outpouring of support. We're 3dp3dt today
and our beta is in 8 days on February 3. I can hear the tick of each
second and the weight of each minute; it will be a long week. You'll know why I'm quiet.