20dp3dt….

I win the idiot of the year award. On the way to Savannah this morning, I wondered why it was so bright and why there was so much traffic on the highway. Last week when I left to make the 1-hour trip to have my betas, it was butt-crispy dark and the only thing moving was my van and the wind in the trees. Today, it wasn't until Chance called at 7:30 to make sure I was okay that I realized that I had left the house a whole freakin' hour LATE. I usually arrive in Savannah at 6:30, and this morning I didn't even leave the house until 6:30. Oops. I had the time "6:30" in my head, but for all the wrong reasons. I had even gloated a bit this morning because I had actually made it out of the house "on time." Go me!

Anyway, I finally made it there and Chance suggested that perhaps this morning's faux pas was early onset you-know-what brain. Hopefully it is. As stupid as I am now, it's infinitely worse when I'm you-know-what. Once when I was you-know-what, I got angry because I couldn't find my glasses. After stomping around the house trying to locate them with no success, I finally gave up and went to put in my contacts. One lens teetered on the tip of my finger and as I looked up into the mirror to put it in, I found my glasses. On my face. Over my eyes. Perched on my nose. The arms curled around my ears. And suddenly I understood why Frank had been smirking at me sideways for the past hour. Fucker.

So about this beta…dare I say that I am hopeful? Dare I say that judging from my tests, I believe that my beta will be over 100? Dare I say that we'll be pardoned for at least a little while longer, allowed to carry on and let things continue to grow in the hopes that it will keep growing? I can only whisper such things. In a few hours those numbers might just make a fool of me, and then I'll retrospectively feel a bit cheesed off and somewhat stupid for letting hope get the better of me yet again.

And yet, hopefully…..

18 Comments

  1. Kristin on February 12, 2009 at 11:07 am

    Hoping and praying the numbers are good! I want to see lots of rainbow farts from Reproducina.



  2. Kristin on February 12, 2009 at 11:08 am

    BTW, I gave you an award on my blog!



  3. WhichBox on February 12, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Fingers crossed for the numbers. Can’t wait to hear. I, like you, have a hard time quashing hope. I have hope.
    And happy (belated) birthday!



  4. JuliaS on February 12, 2009 at 11:36 am

    Thinking big fat beta thoughts, and trying to wait patiently and not refresh your blog every 3 minutes in the meantime . . . :0)



  5. nancy on February 12, 2009 at 11:41 am

    argh!!! Giong through beta hell was so hard for me. I wish you didn’t have to go through this, but another low beta miracle out there is always a good thing.



  6. luna on February 12, 2009 at 11:50 am

    maybe you were just hungover from all that cake and dancing?!



  7. Ann on February 12, 2009 at 11:58 am

    oh I am hoping along with all of you.



  8. Debbie on February 12, 2009 at 12:40 pm

    oh, I am absolutely, utterly hopeful and thus, can’t wait for your results!! I’ll be checking back frequently!!



  9. Nikki on February 12, 2009 at 1:15 pm

    Oh boy – have they called yet with the results?? I’m keeping my fingers crossed for all of you!!



  10. Danielle on February 12, 2009 at 1:25 pm

    *crosses fingers* I can’t wait for an update! Thinking of you! HUGS



  11. Alicia Millis on February 12, 2009 at 1:29 pm

    oh no! haha, it is funny though that you left at the total wrong time.
    keeping everything crossed for you!



  12. tash on February 12, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    I’ve reread this post now about four times, laughed each time, and each time expected to see a good number at the end. That’s gotta mean something.
    Hanging with you.



  13. Jess on February 12, 2009 at 1:58 pm

    Thinking about you guys! Sending lots of prayers and keeping my fingers crossed.



  14. sara on February 12, 2009 at 2:10 pm

    Oh no! Isn’t it crazy how on a big day is THE day that something silly will happen like this? I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you guys and ready to pee myself with anticipation!



  15. journey to junior(ette) on February 12, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    waiting not so patiently!!!…



  16. PJ on February 12, 2009 at 5:08 pm

    Ahahaaaaaa! Frank! I love it!
    I’m all hoping out loud for ya.
    Well, mentally out loud that is. I have laryngitis.
    It sucks to teach with laryngitis, btw. Just in case you haven’t had the pleasure. 😛
    c’mon HUGE beta numbers! No whammies!!!!!



  17. Calliope on February 12, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    I have been thinking of you ALL today. I think you were even in my dream last night. I was having a conversation with a lady that looked a LOT like you and we were talking about braxton-hicks- except we kept calling them Toni Braxtons and then laughing like crazy ladies. Insisting that the Universe take care of you & Chance.
    xoxoxo



  18. Moxie on February 12, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    OMG, this is the funniest freakin’ think I have heard in a long damn time. I’m going to call BH ctx Toni Braxtons from now on. I just updated my blog.
    I’m thinking of you all the time, too. I know you’re going through such a tough time right now, and I wish there was something more that I could do. (((HUGS)))