Next time, I'll be more specific

A few months ago I posted a video in which 35-month old Kaelyn explained that she didn't want to use the potty because she didn't want to be a big girl. We've been gently nudging her in the right direction since then and I think she's finally decided to put the Pull-ups behind her. In just the past week she's had four dry days and yesterday she made it through a whole day of fun with a road trip to Savannah and hours at Chuck E. Cheese without an accident. Last night we even braved putting her to bed without a Pull-Up and this morning she was dry. Yes! Success!


Today, there was this —

Frank: KYYYYYYYYYYYYYYMMMMM!!! Look what your daughter did!

Me: What?

Frank: I just put her down for her nap about fifteen minutes ago. I heard her banging on her door calling for me, and look — she took off all her clothes, pooped over there in the corner, and used the corner of her sheet to wipe her butt.

Me: Kaelyn, why didn't you get out of the bed so that you could go to poop on the potty?

Kaelyn (speaking in a DUH! tone of voice, gesturing with her palms up and fluttering her eyelashes for emphasis): Well, you saaaaid not to come out when I'm takin' my nap and you saaaaid not to poop in my underwear!

Me and Frank: *speechless and fighting laughter*

Touche, you little turd. You got me. Add this one to the Kids are Assholes list.

19 thoughts on “Next time, I'll be more specific”

  1. Omg. I couldn’t stop laughing when I first read this. When my older 2 were toddlers Becca would take off Kyles diaper and stick it to the wall in the middle of the night.To this day I cannot stand the smell of bleach!

  2. AHAHAHAH! Mine have never done that but my best friend’s daughter did something like that. They were potty training her and she peed on the couch cushions. When asked why she did that her reply was “you told me not to pee on the floor, mommy”. All sweet and innocent, too. Damn kids! You’ll get her back when you tell that story on her fist date..BWAHAHAHAH

  3. I would’ve totally lost it, however inappropriate that would’ve been. I am very fast to laugh. (We are finding out that so is the Cub. Makes me melt in so many ways…)

  4. oh boy, funny. and ewww.
    just came from a friend who always insists on giving us parenting advice. in a sweet way though, I guess. well tonight’s advice was “BE SPECIFIC.” it applies to everything, since they are so damn literal.

  5. Hilarious! They do say that kids are very literal- but that is too much!!
    (I nominated you on my blog by the way…)

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