Welcome, IComLeavWe'ers!

Welcome, March ICLWers! I think that many of you have probably already visited my blog, but here's a fun little introduction for you newcomers to SmartOneville.

The alphabet a la Smart One:

Apollo, my intended father, earned his arsonist badge. Last week he torched a meadow. Seriously.
Bacon – I'm eating some right now. Pork rules.
Chance and Apollo are my intended parents, but even better, they're family.
Dishes – I don't do 'em.
Eighth grade English teacher
Frank is my husband. He cooks and makes delicious desserts like a mofo.
Georgia girl by default, but born in California.
Hater of assclowns who think they know everything.
IVF#2 is coming up mid-May. Most of our meds were lovingly donated by our bloggy friends.
Jaiden, age 7 and Jordan, age 5 are my sons.
Kyra, age 7 and Kaelyn, age 3 are my daughters. All four were conceived on Clomid.
Love cookies. Probably too much.
Military brat; I lived in 8 different places by the time I was 12.
Not really as smart as I profess to be.
OMG! Fuckernuts and manbiscuits and pricksicle and fucknuttery are some of my favorite words.
Procrastinators like me, let's unite! But let's do it later, okay? I also have PCOS. Good times.
Quizno's spongmonkeys crack me the freak up.
Rugrats – Frank stays home with them and he kicks ass as stay-at-home dad.
Sam is the name of my surro-son. He'll be two in just a few days!
TJ is my 8-year old nephew who we're raising. He's a funny kid.
Unicorns that fart rainbows might be roasted come May or June.
Very much in love with Steely Dan.
Wondering almost non-stop if this next (and final) cycle will work.
XXX-rated movie of me would probably blind you.
You soooo totally don't want to see me naked. *I* don't want to see me naked.
Zzzzz…I just put you to sleep with this boring introduction, didn't I?


  1. Kristin on March 21, 2009 at 12:20 pm

    Its a hell of a lot more imaginative than my intro. Love the entry for O

  2. sara on March 21, 2009 at 12:45 pm

    I love this! I think you should use U is for unicornuate chicks who are really cool!

  3. JessPond on March 21, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    I LOVE IT. Though…I think you’ve just made me a little bit dumber with the spongmonkey site. Kitten wars. I….
    I should never have gone! 🙂

  4. Nic on March 21, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    Happy ICLW! Just found your blog. The intro made me laugh!

  5. luna on March 21, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    you are hilarious!

  6. MC on March 21, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    That’s a really cute and creative into to ICLW! I wish I’d thought of it! 😉

  7. Danielle on March 21, 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Love it! How long did it take you to do that? It would have taken me FOREVER! I would’ve sat in my chair, staring at my screen drawing a blank with drool on my keyboard. Not even kidding…

  8. Moxie on March 21, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    It didn’t take long! I just wrote down the first dumb assed thing that popped into my mind!

  9. nancy on March 21, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    Copying is the best compliment, isn’t that what they say? 🙂
    Hey – on my favorite sock website, they sell socks with unicorns on them. I think I may have to buy a pair for you. (but I’m scared to go there again.)

  10. Io on March 21, 2009 at 8:11 pm

    Awesome intro. And you are every bit as smart as I think you are. And I think you are brilliant.

  11. Jo on March 21, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    You never fail to amuse and entertain me. 🙂

  12. Nicole on March 21, 2009 at 11:11 pm

    What a terrific idea (alphabet post)…I love this!
    And thanks for the kind words on my blog. It means the world!

  13. Mrs. Gamgee on March 21, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    Thank you so much for the laugh… between the farting unicorns and the O entry I’ve been laughing for a good ten minutes! I may have to be shameless and copy this sometime in the future.
    BTW, I see your ‘8 places by 12’, and raise you 25 by age 17. 🙂 Currently on # 56-ish.

  14. Unicorns Taste Like BBQ on March 22, 2009 at 1:23 am

    Had to look up what ICLW meant lmao. Great job on the list!

  15. stacie on March 22, 2009 at 8:56 pm

    This was such a fun post! I love this idea. It is so obvious that you teach! 🙂
    Thanks again for the email yesterday. Glad everything worked out!