See this face and burn it into your memory (the one in the foreground, that is). This is the face of a Dumb Ass, and she just might be your nurse someday. She also just happens to be my youngest sister.
Today in the car the we were rocking out to my theme song, singing (badly) at the top of our lungs:
Moxie & Dani, in unison:
IIIIF YOOOU WAAAANT IIIIT, YOU AAAALREEEAAADY GOOOT IIIIIT!
IF YOU THOOOUUUGHT IIIIIT, IT BETTER BE WHAT YOU WANT.
IIIIF YOOOU FEEEEEL IIIIIT, IT MUST BE REEAAAL JUUUUUUUUUST
SAY THE WOOOORD AAAANND IMMA GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT!
Moxie (as Madonna):
TIME IS WAAAITING!
Dani (as Justin Timberlake):
WE ONLY GOT 4 MINUNTES TO SAAAAAAVE THE WORLD!
Moxie (as the Blonde Ambitioned One with the Pointy Bra Cups):
Dani (as Whiteboy Wonder who now does a bunch of collabos with other singers):
GRAB A HORSE! GO GRAB A SQUIRREL!
What the FUCK are you talking about, Dani? What the shit does saving a horse and a squirrel have to do with saving the world? They said "GRAB A BOY, GO GRAB A GIRL!"
Ohhhhh! Well damn, that makes sense! I thought they were talking about like, they were saving the world like Noah or something. Like they coulda been building an ark and talking about putting animals on it: GRAB A HORSE, GO GRAB A SQUIRREL!
And this is the child (age 22 – she took some time to "find herself") who just yesterday did so well on her college placement test that she got enough of a scholarship to cover ALL of her tuition and fees for a degree in nursing.
Nurse Dani: Hi, I'm here to do your rectal exam! (snaps her latex gloves as she slides them on)
Poor Patient: But the doctor said I just needed to cutback on ham! What the SHIT does a rectal exam have to do with my high blood pressure?
I really am very proud of her.