I welcome April ICLW'ers with a contest

Hi. I'm Moxie, and this is my blog.

*Hi, Moxie.*

The super-short story: After 2.5 years of trying to conceive naturally without the slightest bit of luck, I hit the infertility lottery and conceived girl/boy twins on Clomid. I later conceived two singletons on Clomid. Somewhere in the middle of that, I received a full and proper diagnosis of PCOS with Insulin Resistance as the cause of my anovulation and inability to get pregnant without a little ovarian ass-kicking. Now, I'm the proud mother of four bright kiddos plus one: Kyra and Jaiden, age 7; Jordan, age 5; and Kaelyn, age 3; and my nephew TJ, age 8. Read The Rundown for extended information about The SmartOne family.

I'm not your average mommyblogger, though (I actually shudder at the term). I blather on about my five (known here as el Cinco de Mio) and sometimes about my work as an 8th grade English teacher, but the primary focus of my blog is continuing to bitch about infertility in my role as a gestational surrogate. I've helped bring one family's child into the world, and I'm currently cycling for a mid-May transfer with my intended parents Chance and Apollo. We suffered a chemical pregnancy in February, but prayerfully the next cycle will be THE cycle. I hope you stick around for the long ride. You and the embryo/s, that is.

Enough about me – this post is really about my sexy man Frank. I'm totally going to brag here:

  • high school sweethearts
  • married for almost 13 years, together for 16 years
  • medically retired from the Army following his 1998 diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis
  • blessed with remarkably good health despite the disease
  • the bomb-diggety stay-at-home-dad since the twins were born
  • starting college in the summer for a degree in Physical Education
  • cleans the house
  • does the laundry
  • does homework time
  • chases el Cinco around the house for tickles and body slams and karate
  • cooks 95% of what we eat (the other 3% is fast-food and the other 2% I microwave)
  • bakes as a hobby, and if all of the above isn't enough to get you hot, here's another:
  • now aiming to open an Etsy cookie shop

Long-time readers and Frank-lovers, did you catch that last one?


A man who cooks and cleans and is great with kids and feeds me homemade, ginormous cookies? Rrrrraaawwrrr.

Don't be jealous, ladies; be helpful. I'll share (but no pinching of his butt. That's all mine).

We have many of the cookie variety, packaging, pricing, and design concept ideas worked out, but what we need is a name for his bakery. It needs to be something that reflects Frank. He has a schmoove, Rico Suave kind-of appeal. He's quiet, laid back, more of a casual observer than an active participant. He's the candlelight and rose petals in the bubble bath type, the gentle giant with solid, silent support. He's also quirky with a killer sense of humor. His bakery name should reflect that.

We'd like for the name to have some sort of inclusion of his name or nickames: Frank, Maestro, BarneyMac, B-Love, or any derivation thereof. (Those nicknames were all earned from his Army days; he was the casanova that all the girlies flocked to, but he was taken already. *insert evil laughter here* Sucks to be them.)

For further inspiration and so you can get a better sense of Frank's vibe, below is the general concept of his shop and cookies. Which, it should be known that I'm the brainchild behind much of this. It goes something like this:

Me: You know what sounds good? A big assed cookie with an overload of chocolate. Chocolate batter, chocolate chunks, and maybe white chocolate chips.

Frank: (tapping chin with finger) Hmm. Sounds good.

Me: And it needs a sexy name, because it's a sexy cookie.

Frank: A sexy cookie?

Me: Yeah, there's something kindof naughty about it. You should call it the Menages Trois.

Frank: (sexily swiveling his hips around) Oooh, you mean like me, you, and the cookie doing naughty things in the bed?

Me: (flatly) Uuummm, no. I was thinking more like the marriage of those three types of chocolate in the unholy, sinful, and fattening but oh-so-delicious circle of baked goodness.

Frank: I can do that. Can I do you, too?

Me: Chocolate first, Mister Cookie Man. I have my priorities.

But I digress, sort-of. Where was I? Oh, yes – the bakery concept:

All cookies will have Frank's signature compact disc-sized porportions. Size matters (heh), and it is the size of his cookies that will be the major selling point. Click here for a picutre of one such cookie.

There will be "Nice" and "Naughty" cookies. We're not sure if Nice/Naughty will stick, but there will be the involvement of seductively opposite words like "Innocent/Sinful," etc. We're open to suggestions.

The "Nice" cookies will be your basics: chocolate chip, chocolate chip with walnuts, sugar, peanut butter, and oatmeal raisin.

The "Naughty" cookies are the premium varieties, the special recipes that were born in either my mind or his:

  1. The Menages Trois: chocolate batter, chocolate chunks, white chocolate chips
  2. The Monkeyboy: banana, chocolate chips, and walnuts (this one sounds like a naughty name, but it's really named after Jordan)
  3. The Aristocrat: dried cherry chunks, chocolate chips, chunks of Skor candy, and toffee chips (Chance thought of this one)
  4. Wake Me Up Before You Cocoa: coffee-flavored cookie with chocolate chips and chocolate/mocha icing drizzle (still working on this one)
  5. Get Lei'd: pineapple chunks, coconut, and macadamia nuts
  6. Appleholic's Anonymous: apple chunks soaked in amaretto, amaretto-infused batter, pecans, extra cinnamon and nutmeg (this title isn't exactly PC, but damn, it's funny)

His packaging colors will be brown and teal. His tagline will be "These ain't your Grandma's cookies." Get it? Grandma's cookies? As in, not the brand name Grandma's cookies? I slay myself.

So, here's the contest: leave some suggestions for his bakery name in the comments. You can enter as many times as you'd like to. We'll pore through all of them and select the one we like the best.

You can also leave suggestions for either sexy/quirky cookie names (and we'll develop the recipe), recipe ingredient ideas (and we'll develop the name), or both.

We're open to any and all other ideas for marketing, packaging, etc.

The name contest winner will receive a six-cookie sampler and anyone else who suggests some ideas that we end up using will recieve a two-cookie sampler.

There is no time limit; this contest is open for as long as it takes us to land on the right name.

Okay, creative people of the Internet; gimme whatcha got!

62 thoughts on “I welcome April ICLW'ers with a contest”

  1. I still like the name we discussed this morning, so that is my vote.
    You have me over here spitting water with Frank thinking you and the cookie in the bed. Men and their dirty minds.

  2. Here are a few ideas for cookie names.
    Sweet Surrender
    Hubba Hubba
    Between the Sheets
    I’ll let you know when I come up with some more. This is fun!

  3. B-Love’s House of Sinfully Sweet Delights?
    Frank’s Freaking Fantastic Bakery (eat your heart out Famous Amos!)
    And I’m spent!

  4. Store Name: something about Santa’s List; you know, with naughty and nice. Or maybe just OH YEAH. OH YEAH Cookies.
    Cookie ideas:
    Here Comes the Bride (vanilla bean cookies w/ orange blossom or rose blossom flavoring)
    Vampires or All Nite Longs (chocolate cookies w/ smashed chocolate-covered espresso beans) [ooh, these could be called She Devils if you did them with red hots or made the cookies from red velvet cake dough].
    So hungry now, I hate you guys. 🙂

  5. (C’mon – just one little pinch?) Frank sounds like an amazing guy.
    I’ve got nothing on the cookie front…but all my coworkers want to know why I keep laughing. And humming Wham.

  6. B-Love’s Orgasmic Cookie Co.
    The Menages Trois cookie has white chips!
    *waggles eyebrows*

  7. Heather, you naughty, naughty girl, you. Now I’m going to crack up laughing and think about you every time I eat one of those cookies.

  8. Did someone say…COOKIES? Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.
    And I can’t name anything, so I’ll let the creative types answer and then ride their coattails. Because THAT is the kind of friend I am.

  9. @Kim – “Size Matters” — ooooh, me likey. It makes you think of the size of umm…yeah, but really it’s talking about the size of the giganto cookies. Score one for the list of options.
    @Heather – OMG you are making me lose it. My students are all looking at me like I’m crazy. Yes, I’m blogging at work. We’re doing standardized tests in the morning and movies in the afternoon. That’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it. Anyway, the Bow Chicka Wow Wow Bakery actually has a quirky but sexy swagger. Score two for the list of possibilities. Frank, my two sisters, my mom and me all have Bow Chicka Wow Wow matching shirts. Yes, we are just that schmoove.

  10. @Becky – come on, girl. With that naughty sense of humor that you have, I KNOW you can come up with something good!

  11. I really like Kristin’s suggestion of Cookie Maestro!
    My suggestion is Casanova’s Cookies – as the name Casanova connotes naught and nice!

  12. I came here from LFCA – I haven’t read through all the suggestions, but when I saw that your blog was I’m A Smart One I thought you could call the shop “One Smart Cookie.” I know it isn’t very sexy, but I thought it was fitting.

  13. Come to the Dark Side, we have cookies!
    Sorry! Thanks to you, all that is running through my head is cookie related one liners.

  14. Oh fun. I’m terrible at the name thing, but I love the idea.
    I’m a huge fan of Casanova’s Cookies. Size matters is another great tagline/branding slogan!!

  15. I´ve read that you should avoid boxing yourself into a corner with your shop name on etsy. If ¨cookie¨ is in the name and you decide you want to start selling some pound cake to (hint, hint) you´ve gotten yourself into a bit of a conundrum. So maybe: Casanova Cooks and Size Matters or Frankin´ Awesome Bakery. I´ll keep thinking!

  16. Good advice, Kara! Frank does have a thing for cakes, and we surely want to leave some room for expansion should this cookie thing really go somewhere.

  17. Screw it. For a moemnt I tried to use my ancient brain to think of something and I’m not cool enough to offer ideas. I’ll just buy a shitload of cookies. 🙂 ha. Dangle a 2 cookie sampler in front of me? I’ll just buy 12 of them. (i feel like i’m getting away with something yet I’m going to be sending you money.)
    Dooood. What a fabulous Idea. And the name of #4? hahaha.
    I’ve always wanted to try one of his cookies. Or 10 of them.
    Ah. Idea struck me. A roller derby cookie! Like “rink rash” (okay, bad idea for cookie name) hrm. Now I’m stuck again. Damn it.

  18. Ohhhhh Moxie, I love the sound of a combination of things I read. Here it is:
    Frank’s Casanova Cookies; where size matters!
    p.s. I want my two cookies for real, real!

  19. Hmmmm, I just looked and- nope not a creative bone in my body. However, I want me some of those cookies. Let me know when they are “on the market”.

  20. I love Casanova’s Cookies!
    With the tag of “Size Matters!!”
    MAN some of those sound faaaaabulous. I love the appleholics one, sounds nom nom delicious!

  21. I tried thinking of more but I think my load is spent.
    I do like using the tag line “Where Size Matters” no matter what you name your biz.
    I am so ordering as soon as the store goes online so I hope Frank is ready!

  22. Hmmm, my comment didn´t show up. I´ve read that you shouldn´t limit yourself with your store name. So if you´ve choosen something with the name ¨cookie¨ and then you want to start selling pound cake (hint, hint) you have a bit of a problem. I´m thinking: Casanova Cooks, or Casanova Cooks And Size Matters, or Frankin´ Awesome Eats/Bakery/Delights. Maybe one day Frank will sell some BBQ sauce on Etsy too.

  23. You had me at “Frank’s cookies”!!
    Okay, this will likely keep me up all night but here’s what I’ve got so far:
    Playing with Fire – you know that kind of dark chocolate/ cocoa flavor with a hint of cayenne?
    Immaculate Confection – you guys figure out what this fits
    Afternoon Delight (is that too dated??)
    Flapjack flirtations – maple syrup inspired (the name doesn’t strike me as the strongest, I just like the idea of a maple flavored cookie and using flirtation in a cookie name)
    And I’m not sure I can beat Casanova’s Cookies or One Smart Cookie….

  24. HYSTERICAL! Have you heard the joke…what did the brown chicken say to the brown cow??? “Brown Chicken Brown Cow”…I know, types out really stupid, but you have to say it in the key of “Bow chica bow wow”

  25. I am trying here- REALLY trying. I think that you could add a monkey one called “Hunky Monkey” (don’t want to replace MonkeyBoy though. 🙂
    I have been thinking about this since YESTERDAY. That is all I have come up with. ARGH!!! I will totally buy from you guys though- so keep us updated!!!

  26. Lovin from Frank’s Oven? Gee I’m lame. But please involve a ton of white chocolate in the recipes. Those are my favorite!

  27. The Maestro of Love and Coookies? The Perfect Man?
    There’s an excellent Canadian bakery chain that has ménage à trois cookies with three types of chocolate. (FYI that’s the proper French spelling, ménage à trois, unless your spelling was intentional.) One of my favorite cookies in the world. We’ll have to see how Frank’s stacks up.

  28. Crap, my comment got deleted! But what I wanted to say was how about Lovin from Frank’s Oven? Lame – but my brain is mush these days. Ah and yes. I think I need a unicorn for my site. But what about not only a unicorn…but a sexy unicorn? Not sure what one would look like…but I need inquire! Of course you know know nothing has changed…just need to be a bit mysterious so we’re all protected, you know?

  29. I am in tears here at work!
    maybe some play on phrases we use for oral activities:
    Deep Throat Cookies?: Bet you can’t put a whole one in your mouth.
    Frank’s Fellatious Cookies?

  30. Thanks so much for the congrats!!
    You and your husband are such a pair!! You must laugh a lot together.
    My brain’s mush right now, but I’ll try to kick it into gear. But now my stomach just wants chocolate. Is it too early to blame it on the baby? 😉

  31. Hi Moxie,
    I’m new to ICLW, and just read yur blog for the first time today! I think it’s fantastic that you are doing surrogacy. I think I would be very open to it once I’m able to have at least one of my own… I’m dealing with MFI.
    I look forward to reading more about your experiences. Good luck with the Cookie Gig, and thanks for sharing!

  32. A cookie idea: a cookie shaped more like a tear drop or macaroon or a ball infused with tea (any kind) Use different shades of dough. Teabagging Cookies!
    Pearl Necklace: Using macademia or white chocolate in suggestive designs

  33. Forbidden Fruit
    Original Sin
    The Devil Made Me Do It
    Kiss and Tell
    And I absolutely love Sugar Daddy and Immaculate Confections.

  34. omg. i’ve been on a three day Blueprint Cleanse and have had nothing but green juice. just reading about Frank’s cookies makes me want to climb into the computer and EAT SOME FRANKIN COOKIES. (now that i think about it, i actually think i’d probably feel that way even if i had eaten real food this week.)
    anywho, brain firing on one cell and my creative juices being sucked out of me by every campaign at work crumbling (get it, crumbling…) and starting over from scratch…so i don’t think i could come up with anything better than the incredible suggestions above. Sugar Daddy is my fav!
    but GO FRANK! i look forward to ordering one of those monster cookies. if you need any volunteers for your focus group to try out new recipes i humbly offer my services.

  35. OH…and you need a COCKtail line, created from drinks:
    -mojito: lime, mint, coconut
    -cosmo: orange, dried cranberry
    -brain is dead, but you get the pic…

  36. Spice Boys (gingerbread men)
    One Track Mind (chocolate cookie with chocolate chips and chocolate icing)
    Pillow Talk (cookies with mini-marshmallows)
    Topless Bars (sandwich cookies, but without the top layer)

  37. Painted Ladies (gingerbread girls)
    Sweet Nothings (low fat or sugar free cookies)
    Can you tell someone has too much time on her hands?

  38. no idea how i found myself here but I didn, so always being the shy type here are my suggestions:
    Batter Up – who doesn’t love cookie dough/batter
    No Little Syns (sins) – for cookie size
    Scentsational Cookies – can almost smell the triple one
    The Karma Cookie – no sutra can match his cookies
    and with that i’m off to read more about you and your brood.

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