Hi. I'm Moxie, and this is my blog.
The super-short story: After 2.5 years of trying to conceive naturally without the slightest bit of luck, I hit the infertility lottery and conceived girl/boy twins on Clomid. I later conceived two singletons on Clomid. Somewhere in the middle of that, I received a full and proper diagnosis of PCOS with Insulin Resistance as the cause of my anovulation and inability to get pregnant without a little ovarian ass-kicking. Now, I'm the proud mother of four bright kiddos plus one: Kyra and Jaiden, age 7; Jordan, age 5; and Kaelyn, age 3; and my nephew TJ, age 8. Read The Rundown for extended information about The SmartOne family.
I'm not your average mommyblogger, though (I actually shudder at the term). I blather on about my five (known here as el Cinco de Mio) and sometimes about my work as an 8th grade English teacher, but the primary focus of my blog is continuing to bitch about infertility in my role as a gestational surrogate. I've helped bring one family's child into the world, and I'm currently cycling for a mid-May transfer with my intended parents Chance and Apollo. We suffered a chemical pregnancy in February, but prayerfully the next cycle will be THE cycle. I hope you stick around for the long ride. You and the embryo/s, that is.
Enough about me – this post is really about my sexy man Frank. I'm totally going to brag here:
- high school sweethearts
- married for almost 13 years, together for 16 years
- medically retired from the Army following his 1998 diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis
- blessed with remarkably good health despite the disease
- the bomb-diggety stay-at-home-dad since the twins were born
- starting college in the summer for a degree in Physical Education
- cleans the house
- does the laundry
- does homework time
- chases el Cinco around the house for tickles and body slams and karate
- cooks 95% of what we eat (the other 3% is fast-food and the other 2% I microwave)
- bakes as a hobby, and if all of the above isn't enough to get you hot, here's another:
- now aiming to open an Etsy cookie shop
Long-time readers and Frank-lovers, did you catch that last one?
FRANK IS GOING TO OPEN AN ONLINE COOKIE SHOP!
A man who cooks and cleans and is great with kids and feeds me homemade, ginormous cookies? Rrrrraaawwrrr.
Don't be jealous, ladies; be helpful. I'll share (but no pinching of his butt. That's all mine).
We have many of the cookie variety, packaging, pricing, and design concept ideas worked out, but what we need is a name for his bakery. It needs to be something that reflects Frank. He has a schmoove, Rico Suave kind-of appeal. He's quiet, laid back, more of a casual observer than an active participant. He's the candlelight and rose petals in the bubble bath type, the gentle giant with solid, silent support. He's also quirky with a killer sense of humor. His bakery name should reflect that.
We'd like for the name to have some sort of inclusion of his name or nickames: Frank, Maestro, BarneyMac, B-Love, or any derivation thereof. (Those nicknames were all earned from his Army days; he was the casanova that all the girlies flocked to, but he was taken already. *insert evil laughter here* Sucks to be them.)
For further inspiration and so you can get a better sense of Frank's vibe, below is the general concept of his shop and cookies. Which, it should be known that I'm the brainchild behind much of this. It goes something like this:
Frank: (tapping chin with finger) Hmm. Sounds good.
Me: And it needs a sexy name, because it's a sexy cookie.
Frank: A sexy cookie?
Me: Yeah, there's something kindof naughty about it. You should call it the Menages Trois.
Frank: (sexily swiveling his hips around) Oooh, you mean like me, you, and the cookie doing naughty things in the bed?
Me: (flatly) Uuummm, no. I was thinking more like the marriage of those three types of chocolate in the unholy, sinful, and fattening but oh-so-delicious circle of baked goodness.
Frank: I can do that. Can I do you, too?
Me: Chocolate first, Mister Cookie Man. I have my priorities.
But I digress, sort-of. Where was I? Oh, yes – the bakery concept:
All cookies will have Frank's signature compact disc-sized porportions. Size matters (heh), and it is the size of his cookies that will be the major selling point. Click here for a picutre of one such cookie.
There will be "Nice" and "Naughty" cookies. We're not sure if Nice/Naughty will stick, but there will be the involvement of seductively opposite words like "Innocent/Sinful," etc. We're open to suggestions.
The "Nice" cookies will be your basics: chocolate chip, chocolate chip with walnuts, sugar, peanut butter, and oatmeal raisin.
The "Naughty" cookies are the premium varieties, the special recipes that were born in either my mind or his:
- The Menages Trois: chocolate batter, chocolate chunks, white chocolate chips
- The Monkeyboy: banana, chocolate chips, and walnuts (this one sounds like a naughty name, but it's really named after Jordan)
- The Aristocrat: dried cherry chunks, chocolate chips, chunks of Skor candy, and toffee chips (Chance thought of this one)
- Wake Me Up Before You Cocoa: coffee-flavored cookie with chocolate chips and chocolate/mocha icing drizzle (still working on this one)
- Get Lei'd: pineapple chunks, coconut, and macadamia nuts
- Appleholic's Anonymous: apple chunks soaked in amaretto, amaretto-infused batter, pecans, extra cinnamon and nutmeg (this title isn't exactly PC, but damn, it's funny)
His packaging colors will be brown and teal. His tagline will be "These ain't your Grandma's cookies." Get it? Grandma's cookies? As in, not the brand name Grandma's cookies? I slay myself.
So, here's the contest: leave some suggestions for his bakery name in the comments. You can enter as many times as you'd like to. We'll pore through all of them and select the one we like the best.
You can also leave suggestions for either sexy/quirky cookie names (and we'll develop the recipe), recipe ingredient ideas (and we'll develop the name), or both.
We're open to any and all other ideas for marketing, packaging, etc.
The name contest winner will receive a six-cookie sampler and anyone else who suggests some ideas that we end up using will recieve a two-cookie sampler.
There is no time limit; this contest is open for as long as it takes us to land on the right name.
Okay, creative people of the Internet; gimme whatcha got!