A couple of days ago, Tash left me this comment:
Moxie, this is gonna sound all shades of wack, but in a way I'm jealous that you had an opportunity to actually help. Sometimes I feel when I stare at these stories, and go in the comments and cuss and swear and offer hugs and condolences, that it's just . . . . so little. so meaningless. And here you actually had a role to play and a job to do and rolled up your sleeves and while I'm heartbroken it didn't turn out the way *I* wanted it to, I'm just so grateful you tried.
I understand how Tash feels. There have been many times when I, too, have felt like the mere words I leave in the simple, four-sided comment boxes do little to combat the complex feelings of grief, loss, sadness, and anger that others are enduring. But having been on the receiving end such comments of support for more than a year and a half, though I empathize with Tash's feelings of verbal impotence, I respectfully have to disagree.
These words, which might seem so little, mean so very much. It takes a lot to sit on your side of the screen and tap into someone else's struggles, even if only for a moment. Whether you commiserate in the comments or only lurk and never say a word, it means everything to know that you are there, sending all your hopes and wishes and good thoughts out into the universe on the behalf of those you read. I may have "rolled up my sleeves" and gotten my hands dirty, but I think that each of you do the same every time you tap into the blogosphere. You also make a choice to to dirty your hands and try on someone else's troubled shirt for a while, and you wear your hearts on your sleeves and warm the hearts of others when you are here to support. Don't underestimate all the good that you do by simply just being here.
So, to the 90-something of you that have been here to lift me up in the past couple of weeks, I give you this small, but heartfelt token of gratitude. You're all my personal superheroes. It's little, but I know so very well how little things can mean a lot.
This award is for all of you to pick up and take back to your blogs if you so choose*, but I hope you won't mind if I single out a few ladies specifically:
Tash, JuliaKB, niobe (Rock Band + niobe: I've seen it and she doth rock much), Charmed Girl, MM, Kristin (who has a voice that's every bit as genial and kind as her on-screen words are), Calliope (who is a firecracker2 more animated in person than she already is on her blog), Heather R (who's spoiled me rotten with gifts, the latest of which is a 6-month subscription to Pogo, which then I used to whoop her ass at Scrabble), Coffeegrl, and Miss W, WhichBox, and Kimmy (my surrobuddy) all either sent emails of support or posted support on their own blogs. I apologize in advance if I missed anyone who belongs in this category. My brain hasn't had the most clarity in the past couple of weeks.
To Nishkanu, who generously donated practically all of the meds I needed for this cycle. Charmed Girl donated the bulk of the meds that Chance needed. The two of them made the cycle possible and gave us that one last shot (no pun intended, though it definitely works here).
To Carrie, who obsessed over peesticks with me, dragged my ass through post-planning and ran errands around the school when I couldn't do it myself, and with whom I will soon get ripped on margaritas and sangria.
And finally, to Chance, who though she doesn't feel like it, is most definitely the ballsiest woman that I've ever met.
*You surely aren't obligated to do so, but if you want to pass on the Red Cape Award to another blogger, here are the steps:
- On your blog, copy and paste the award, these rules, a link back to the person who selected you, and a link to this post: Red Cape Award SuperCrew (http://thesmartness.com/smartone/red-cape-award-supercrew.html). This is a running list of awardees.
- Check in on the SuperCrew post by leaving a link to your blog and a comment to let Moxie of I'm a Smart One know that you were passed a Red Cape Award so she can add you to the list.
- Select as many award recipients as you would like, link to their blogs (if they have one), and explain why you have chosen them.
- Let them know that you have selected them for an award by commenting on one of their posts.
- If you find that someone you want to nominate has already been selected by someone else, you can still honor them by posting a comment on their award post stating your reasons for wishing to grant them the award.
- You do not have to wait until someone nominates you to nominate someone else.
If you do pass it on, at the very least, please come back and let me know who you've given it to so that I can link back to them on the SuperCrew list of honored recipients.