As Seen on TV

I was on YouTube looking for a completely unrelated clip when I saw this one as a "What People are Watching Now" feature:


I had one rhetorical question: Are you shitting me? I thought that surely this must be some sort of gag commercial. So the curious cat in me looked up the Website to see if it actually exists, and it does. Surely, I thought, this can't be a real Website where you can actually order this ridiculous product. I bet if I click on "ORDER NOW" a prank page will pop up that says something like "HA! FOOLED YOU! WIPE YOUR OWN ASS, YOU LAZY, GULLIBLE, GERMOPHOBIC POOP!"

But, no! For just $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) you really CAN own your very own Comfort Wipe! BUT WAIT! As a special added bonus, you'll also receive the Get a Grip, which suctions easily to the side of your tub or shower! Let's not slip and fall on that newly Comfort Wiped ass!

But if you DO slip and fall, just reach for the little box doodad hanging from the chain around your neck and press the little button. You know what to do next. Just shout, "I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP!" as loud as you can so that the sound of your voice reaches the speaker thingy. Your Life Call 24-hour emergency alert system will have paramedics at your door in no time.


Just please be sure that there aren't any tissue shreds still stuck in your ass before the EMTs get there. You know what your mom used to tell you about always making sure that you had on clean underwear? There's nothing worse than being caught by paramedics with no underwear on at all and a Comfort Wipe still stuck up your ass. Talk about embarrASSing.

 

What is the most ridiculous As Seen on TV product you've ever…umm…seen on TV? Have you ever bought any As Seen on TV products?

22 Comments

  1. Wishing4One on June 16, 2009 at 9:01 am

    You have got to be kidding me. I laughed so hard at this craZy sh!t! What will they do next…and how do you find this insane stuff? You always seem to “just stumble upon it” LOLLLLLLLL Thanks for the laugh this afternoon.



  2. kimmyg123@yahoo.com on June 16, 2009 at 9:32 am

    OMGosh I nearly fell off my ball watching that!!! HYSTERICAL!! See THIS is why I come here you crack me up!!!! Love ya!



  3. Melissia on June 16, 2009 at 10:28 am

    As funny as it is, they flashed on their target audience market for just a brief moment and that was the morbidly obese person that they pictured. Something that we don’t ever think about but the morbidly obese cannot tend to themselves when they have a bowel movement, so they have to have a family member or caregiver assist them or some or them will get into the shower and clean off that way. It is a thing that causes them much embarrassment and shame, which is really unfortunate.
    This is something that we deal with in the hospital ans home health setting.



  4. Moxie on June 16, 2009 at 10:31 am

    Very good point, Melissia. I can see many medically-necessary applications for this product. I just find it exceptionally *weird* to extend the marketing of this product out to regular folks who are capable of reaching their rear ends. I wouldn’t have blinked an eye if this product was seen in a catalogue for healthcare and geriatric products. πŸ™‚



  5. Michell on June 16, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Ok so first thought was Ewww. Second thought was that Melissia did have a very good point in that some people who are really large/overweight have difficulties and so I can sort of see the point of such an object. However like you said the TV marketing with the beautiful skinny blond is a bit ridiculous.



  6. Shawna on June 16, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    OK, This is my favorite infomercial of all time. I dare you not to laugh. Can’t be done.




  7. Danielle on June 16, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    AHAHAHAHA! That’s crazy! I agree with you and Melissa. In a medical catalog wouldn’t surprise me, but for the general public…WEIRD!!! Glad you got a laugh out of it, though!
    *HUGS*



  8. Moxie on June 16, 2009 at 12:16 pm

    Oh, my freaking gosh! Shawna, that is HILARIOUS! What’s even funnier is that I am seriously considering ordering a Tiddy Bear of my own, because my seat belt always half-chokes me!



  9. Amanda on June 16, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    LOL!!!
    OK, this doesn’t exactly answer your question, but my favorite infomercial was always Nads hair remover. Just because it was called Nads. And because the lady said, “I named it after my daughter, Nads!” You named your daughter NADS???? OMG! LOL!
    I’m mature. I know.



  10. JessPond on June 16, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    I can def see the elderly and the obese, but man, how is that something LOTS of people need????
    I have bought a seen-on-tv thing! The aquaglobes. AND THEY WORK. I mean, I bought them because it seemed they’d OBVIOUSLY work, so, yeah. But we take lots of vacations and now my parents don’t have to come water our plants. I really do like them, but I feel embarassed saying so! πŸ™‚



  11. JessPond on June 16, 2009 at 2:17 pm

    OH MY GOSH LMFAO AT THE TIDDY BEAR!
    Oh wow. Wow. Just…wow.



  12. Melissia on June 16, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    I came back to tell you about the funniest Simpson episode called The American Dream where Bart is very very large and he bathes himself with a similar device and this is what he says “I wash myself with a rag on a stick”. It is said while he is outside standing on a rundown porch, barefoot, wearing overalls and no shirt. It is hilarious. I looked for it on Utube but it had been deleted. I have 2 grandfathers that were coal miners from the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, so it was that sort of show and I did not take offense, but I guess that is why it has been pulled? Not sure. But very funny.



  13. charmedgirl on June 16, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    dude…i would have TOTALLY ORDERED THIS if i saw it when i was preg with triplets!!! you know how HARD it was to reach my own ass?? i am so not kidding…
    they are smart to mass market…who would anyone ever TELL if they needed it?! for all we know, half the population (preggos, back/shoulder injuries, geriatrics, the obese…) needs it!



  14. Moxie on June 16, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    I remember that episode! ROFLMAO! Too bad that you couldn’t find the clip!



  15. Moxie on June 16, 2009 at 5:54 pm

    Good point, Charmy. Just out of curiosity, I’d love to know how many of those were sold and the demographic of the main buyers!



  16. Aunt Becky on June 16, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    I may or may not have peed myself. I’ll never tell.



  17. Andrea on June 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm

    OMG, those are frickin’ hysterical!! Thanks for your sweet comment on my blog! I don’t have much pee willpower, so I’ll probably test early but I’m not sure when. Any suggestions?!?!



  18. PJ on June 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    That’s hilarious!



  19. Kristin on June 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Abso-frickin-lutely hilarious…but don’t buy a tiddy bear Moxie. You can use a seat belt clip (like you use to secure shoulder belts when strapping a car seat in) to change the angle of the strap.



  20. Kristin on June 16, 2009 at 10:10 pm

    OMG Moxie…you had me laughing so hard.



  21. MeAndBaby on June 21, 2009 at 10:13 am

    Here for ICLW, thanks for the comment. I was scrolling down your page and came across this and am still laughing. Thanks for the pick-me-up! I’m enjoying reading your story.



  22. Thomas on August 12, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Well hello Moxie. I don’t know how I ever stumbled on your blog. You have the power of expression. I’m a minister in a cosmopolitan Church in Cape Town. Kind regards, Thomas.