I was on YouTube looking for a completely unrelated clip when I saw this one as a "What People are Watching Now" feature:
I had one rhetorical question: Are you shitting me? I thought that surely this must be some sort of gag commercial. So the curious cat in me looked up the Website to see if it actually exists, and it does. Surely, I thought, this can't be a real Website where you can actually order this ridiculous product. I bet if I click on "ORDER NOW" a prank page will pop up that says something like "HA! FOOLED YOU! WIPE YOUR OWN ASS, YOU LAZY, GULLIBLE, GERMOPHOBIC POOP!"
But, no! For just $19.99 (plus shipping and handling) you really CAN own your very own Comfort Wipe! BUT WAIT! As a special added bonus, you'll also receive the Get a Grip, which suctions easily to the side of your tub or shower! Let's not slip and fall on that newly Comfort Wiped ass!
But if you DO slip and fall, just reach for the little box doodad hanging from the chain around your neck and press the little button. You know what to do next. Just shout, "I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP!" as loud as you can so that the sound of your voice reaches the speaker thingy. Your Life Call 24-hour emergency alert system will have paramedics at your door in no time.
Just please be sure that there aren't any tissue shreds still stuck in your ass before the EMTs get there. You know what your mom used to tell you about always making sure that you had on clean underwear? There's nothing worse than being caught by paramedics with no underwear on at all and a Comfort Wipe still stuck up your ass. Talk about embarrASSing.
What is the most ridiculous As Seen on TV product you've ever…umm…seen on TV? Have you ever bought any As Seen on TV products?