I don't know what the hell made me think of this tonight, but here is a story from the Jaiden files:
The twins were in Kindergarten when I delivered Baby M. Former IM had induced lactation and was able to breastfeed him, so about a month prior to Baby M's delivery, I arranged to pump and donate my breastmilk to my friend Lisa. After a long battle with premature ovarian failure, Lisa finally became a mom via egg donation. She was fairly certain that the hormonal dysfunction which was the cause of the infertility would also cause diminished milk production and it did. The timing of her pregnancy with Jenna and my surrogacy pregnancy with Baby M worked out perfectly, because she delivered less than a week before I did.
At any rate, one day about a month into pumping I received this email from the twins' Kindergarten teacher:
Good afternoon, Mrs. SmartOne!
I just had to tell you this story about Jaiden. As you know, we are working on a unit about types of animals. Today I introduced mammals. I explained the attributes of most mammals and when I got to the part about mammals producing milk for their babies, Jaiden threw up his hand and explained to the class that you were a mammal because you use a breast pump and had "tons and tons" of milk in the freezer. I thought it was so cute!
Have a good day and I hope your recovery is going well!
Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher Who Probably Fell Out of Her Chair Laughing Her Ass Off During Circle Time
When Jaiden got home from school that day, he bounded into the bedroom and before I could ask him what he learned about mammals, he exclaimed, "MOM! Today was a cool day in school! I told the class all about your breasts today!"
Yes, that's a freezer full of packaged, dated, and carefully organized breastmilk. By the time I stopped pumping a month later, even the top two rows were completely filled with milk and we had to buy a chest freezer to store our food. If you were to call me a cow, I'd not be insulted. Moo. Call me a fat cow, and dem's fightin' words.