How (not) to Be a Southern Belle

So. Say you live somewhere in the vicinity of the coastal Georgia/Florida border, and you're sitting at home sippin' on Hatorade (pinky up, because despite all the hatin' you are, after all, a lady) because you didn't get to go to BlogHer. What do you do?

A. Spike your Hatorade with Hennessy and get so sloshed that you don't give a flying flip about anything anymore.

B. Touch your fingers to your chest and say, in an airily prissy Southern belle voice: "Why Ah DO declare! Peh-haps one day Ah, too, will meet with uuh-thuh writin' women, but until the good people of BlogHer deciiide to host their lil' get-togethuh in Atlanta, I'll just sit he-uh an pine away like the delicate magnolia that I am."

C. Say, "Fuck it," take matters into your own hands, and arrange a little get together of your own.

Hatorade makes me gag, I'm only Southern by default of being a military brat, and when in doubt you should always choose C (duh), so either this coming Thursday or Friday I'm meeting up with Calliope, her true Southern belle beauty of a mom (who incidentally knows that a PEE-can is something you sit on in the bathroom and a pe-CAHN is nut, so say it right). Of course Cali's handsome, Captain Adorable W will be there. Wanna come hang with us? Either email or let me know in the comments whether Thursday or Friday is better for you.

Even if no one else makes it but us, Calliope plus her family and me will still have our little Savannah get together.

You, Ah declare, can stay home and sip Hennessy Hatorade, if you prefer. Just remember to keep your pinkies up.

20 thoughts on “How (not) to Be a Southern Belle”

  1. becoming whole

    Being from the place where the pe-CAHN is the state tree, ahem, I have a great appreciation for anyone who can pronounce this nut in the way God meant it to be said.
    Were the southern region of our country not so damn LARGE, I would try to make that get-together. As it is, I will just not be a southern belle all on my own.
    Pee-can my ass.

  2. Picturing you as a prissy southern belle is cracking me up! I wish like hell I lived closer to you and could join you and Calliope.

  3. I’ll try not to be mean from the envy that is coursing through my veins right now. I think I have a blogger lunch coming up too, as soon as I nail down all the dirty details I will make YOU green with envy, dammit! ;o)
    Have SO much fun. Take lots of pics and I hope Heather gets to join you!
    *HUGS*

  4. GeekByMarriage

    Jase says it is def. possible as long as I can figure out what the hell he’s supposed to do while we gab. I told him to chill with the laptop at the hotel we pick!

  5. Now you’ve got me want a slice of peh-cahn pie (drives me nuts when people see peecan): PehCahn just sounds so much more elegant.

  6. I love the South. Seriously, when (notice that I said WHEN) I come down to visit, I will just make you talk so I can listen. Love, love, love the accent.

  7. Sadly, Aunt Becky, she does not really talk in such a manner. I’m sure she would fake it just for you though 🙂

  8. I’m in, but only if it is Friday. We will be flying back on Thursday. Let me know the details! I’m bringing the kiddos, are you?

  9. LOL…note Trish’s comment below. I don’t really have a Southern twang. I’ve been here since I was 12 but my mom is from Chicago. My mom doesn’t even have that somewhat nasal Midwest lilt, either. My “accent” is that I don’t really HAVE an accent. I can fake a good Southern drawl for you, though!

  10. Trish, I’m meeting with Cali and a couple of other bloggers on Thursday, but I’ll have some other bloggy special guests at my house on Saturday! I’ll let you in on the deets!

  11. GeekByMarriage

    Woooooo just booked my hotel for Friday and Sat night!!!! I CAN’T WAIT! *bouncy bouncy*

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