It's business as usual, here in the Uterus of the Smart One. By
business, I mean no business at all. Perhaps procrastination is so
deeply rooted in me that it even couches itself into the fibers of my
body, causing certain reproductive organs to screech to a grinding
halt. It is cycle day 40-something.
Apparently my ovaries and uterus have adapted my Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow? philosophy. I
can always tell when my hormone levels have essentially flatlined.
Aside from kickstanded cycles (if my reproductive system was a cycle of
the riding persuasion, then the kickstand is firmly in place on the
ground), I also have the attention span of a gnat and my energy level
is set on Zombie.
Once upon a time, in a far and distant frame of mind, I would have
spent each moment past cycle day 30 hanging my hopes on the possibility
of being pregnant, even as I passed and left cycle day 70 behind in the
Nowadays, I just pop myself in the ass with 2cc's PIO and call it a
day. No need for a pregnancy test. No need to call the doctor and wait
for a prescription of Provera. I've been around the block enough to
already have the answers (and all associated needles and injectible medications). There is nothing left to do now except wait.
In other general news, in la Casa de la Smart One we're all settling
into the rhythms of a new school year. The final piece of Back to
School fell into place last night when Frank went to his first class of
Fall Semester. Kyra has Strep throat and missed school yesterday and
today; hopefully she will feel well enough to go tomorrow. Now we're on
Cootie Watch, because it's only a matter of time before el Cinco starts
dropping like flies as they pass it around.
As my Tweeples know (Twitter friends, for you non-Twittering folk),
a couple of weekends ago my mom ended up in the hospital for a day for
severe pain following a surgery for kidney stones that she'd had just
the day before. One huge stone which was blocking the urethra was
completely removed (they gave it to Mom in a test tube and she
affectionately named the stone "Roscoe"). Last Sunday, my sister Dani
and I spent 3am-1pm in the ER with her. The intense pain, which caused
her to repeatedly double over with nausea and dry heaving, seemed
resistant to the regular run of pain medication. Two IV-block boluses
of Demerol did nothing. Finally she was given a shot of Phenergan to
curb the nausea. Before the needle was pulled from her IV block, Mom
was so high that finally stopped moaning and writhing in agony. She
remained comfortably buzzed for most of the remainder of the stay.
The on-call doctor decided that Mom should have an CT scan to figure
out what was knocking around in her kidneys, so Dani and I spent 2.5
hours breaking through Mom's haze to get her to choke down two 15 oz.
bottles of a vile banana smoothie-flavored Barium concoction. She was
so out of it that her eyes rolled almost disjointedly into the back of
her head. She mumbled and slurred her speech. There in the hospital,
with my mother completely out if it for some unknown malfunction of her
kidney, Dani and
I did what good daughters do – we laughed our flippin' asses off. Hard. Because Mom + heavy
pain meds = muy haha. Yes, we sat right there and laughed hysterically
in her face for most of the night/morning, knowing that Mom was zooted
that she wouldn't remember, anyway. So to make up for it, once Mom was
lucid (which wasn't until the next day), we told mom in explicit detail
everything she did and said while under the influence that made us
laugh so, and she laughed too.
The CT scan showed that the smaller bits of the large stones which
were blasted apart in the surgery were lined up one right behind the
other, each lodged in the tube on the way out of the kidney.
Thankfully, they've moved and are on their way down and out. Mom called
me excitedly last week to inform me that she "delivered triplets" with
that morning's pee.Huzzah.
So to those of you who knew about Mom's health issues, thank you for
keeping her in your thoughts and prayers. To everyone, please keep her
in your continued thoughts, because she received the crappy news that
as of yesterday, she was laid off. It's unrelated to her health issues
but came completely out of the blue, so she's still reeling from the
shock of it. She's been granted a lousy two weeks of severance pay.
Hopefully she'll land another job back quickly, since here in the
Georgia mental health services circuit she's well-known and often
requested to take on tough cases throughout the state.
Cookie news: in his bakery break, Frank has been concocting lots of
sinful treats which to tempt your palate when he reopens sometime in
late September/early October. He's figured out the magic formula of
chocolate cookie dough, so you have those varieties to look forward to.
"Naughty" cookies which have definitely made the cut and will be
Vampire Bite: chocolate cookie with cayenne (which is now my personal favorite)
Fourplay: chocolate cookie with pecans, walnuts, almonds, and macadamia nuts
Caught in the Mo'Mint: chocolate-mint cookie
Chocolate Cherry Bombs: all the things you love about the regular CB except with chocolate cookie
Down to the COAR: Caramel, Oatmeal, Apples, Raisins
Monkeygirl: Just like the Monkeyboy (banana/walnut cookies) except with no nuts. Heh.
Get Lei'd: coconut, rum-soaked pineapple, macadamia nuts, white chocolate chips
He's also added standard peanut butter and oatmeal raisin cookies to the list of "Nice" cookies.
Ever just need a moment? Everything that I said I needed to get out
has again morphed into marbles that I need to roll around
introspectively before letting them loose (lost my marbles! ha!). The smooth rounds of different but related ideas are knocking
into each other, causing a chain reaction of changed angles and
different directions. I need for the mental movement and physics to
slow down again so that I can focus on and write about one or two glass
beads at a time instead of being mesmerized into inaction by the
constant shifting of thoughts.
Just wanted to let you all know that I'm alive and breathing, and all is (generally) well.