Fear

I don't intend to pimp Kyra's blog each and every time she writes a new post, but I was so blown away by what she wrote today that it inspired tonight's post here at Smart One. She dropped some serious knowledge and the profundity and understanding of which she wrote caught my breath, especially considering the fact that it came from a third grader.

For me, this is a time of a lessening void in which I am bolstering my courage against the fears that the past couple of years have left me, like inconsiderate and rude parting gifts left behind on the nightstand. Today, Kyra wrote about fear. She doesn't write about her fears, but the universal truth she intuits about the human condition of fear…well, now having read it, I feel a lot less fearful.

What are you afraid of?

Let this be a conversation; I responded to my own question in the comments to begin the dialogue.

37 Comments

  1. Fat Chick on October 20, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    I’m afraid that I will always be alone. I don’t have much in the way of extended family, and what if infertility treatments don’t work?



  2. Moxie on October 20, 2009 at 8:42 pm

    I’m afraid that my blessings will run out. I’ve been overabundantly lucky where others have not. I’m terrified that it will somehow, someday be taken from me.



  3. DaniGirl(Moxie's Sister) on October 20, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    This is the comment that I left in response to Kyra’s blog….
    Not being as successful as I want to be in life is what scares me the most. Your mom told me something that really struck a chord with me; she told me that taking a couple of steps back is not the same thing as failing. Reminding myself of that helps me everyday.



  4. Moxie on October 20, 2009 at 9:04 pm

    I keep reading your words over and over and trying to figure out what to say…sometimes there just aren’t any words *to* say. (((hugs)))



  5. a on October 20, 2009 at 10:19 pm

    I am overcome today with irrational (OK, semi-irrational) fears that I will never see my husband again. See, he took a contract job that will take him to Afghanistan. He was home for two weeks as a break before he leaves. He left last Sunday to return to the stateside office to prepare for his deployment. He could leave next week or next month, and plans to come home in March. But I am filled with anxiety this week. I hope it will pass.
    Fortunately, my fears are generally momentary and situational, and therefore not overriding. So, once this passes, I will go on being my usual blithe spirit. Thanks for giving me an outlet – I haven’t quite known what to do with this. Can’t wait to read Kyra’s words – but you appear first in my reader…



  6. Moxie on October 20, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    Given the fact that
    a) in his Army days, Frank’s unit came down on rapid deployment alert at the drop of a dime for a year (and actually had to go once – alert on Monday and departing for Kuwait on Wednesday), and
    b) we’re still in an Army town where 12-18 month deployments are happening every day,
    I can completely understand your fears, as the cause of the fear isn’t in the least bit irrational (not that many fears ever are).
    I hope his time away passes quickly.



  7. Moxie on October 20, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    You can do it, Bean.



  8. Kristin on October 20, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    {{{Hugs}}} from me too.



  9. jesspond on October 20, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    I’m afraid we’ll never have another child.
    As I took apart Ava’s crib yesterday I had a big panic about OMGosh we had two babies and what if we never have another….
    We had two babies, have two toddlers….I know. But.
    But. But.
    Also, right now I’m a tinge freaked about h1n1!



  10. Kristin on October 20, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    I am terrified of losing the people I love.



  11. Io on October 20, 2009 at 11:42 pm

    I’m afraid of never getting where I want to go. It seems like every time we take a step forward we then are forced to take two steps back. I’m afraid that I will give up. I am afraid of not being okay with what I have. And I am really afraid of the big ass spiders that seem to be EVERYWHERE this year! I took a shower and then Al went in to take one and he started to get in and saw a HUGE spider on the shower curtain that I hadn’t seen because I had my glasses off. It was almost as big as his VW. Eek!



  12. Calliope on October 21, 2009 at 9:27 am

    I’m afraid that we will get evicted and that we will never crawl out of this depression and that people will come and take W away and that people that I am related to will try to make trouble and that I will never realize all that I want to in life. And 3 thousand other things that I am so afraid of that I can’t even type them.



  13. ~Ifer on October 21, 2009 at 9:44 am

    I am afraid, ever so afraid, that I will let people down. I want to be the strong one, I want to be the rock. I don’t want to disappoint anyone, so I walk around like a juggler with too many balls in the air, knowing that I am about to drop one or all of them. I am so scared that I will drop an important ball and someone in my life will be hurt as a result. This is the secret hidden fear that I live with every day.



  14. Pam on October 21, 2009 at 10:18 am

    I am afraid that our last chance FET in the new year will fail. I worry that we’re never going to pull ourselves our of the financial hole we’re currently in, not deep, but still in it. And I worry about V’s health even if he won’t. Anyone who says they aren’t afraid of anything is just fooling themselves.



  15. leanne on October 21, 2009 at 12:19 pm

    My worst fear as a parent had always been that one day a child of mine would have cancer – leukemia, specifically (I have no idea why I chose leukemia.). Then my worst nightmare pretty much came true – it just wasn’t leukemia. And while my son has had an amazing recovery, and he is definitely one of the lucky ones, I fear that it’s not over yet. And while his docs try to reassure me that the worst was over long ago, well… I can’t help but feel otherwise sometimes.



  16. sonja on October 21, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    I am afraid of what will happen to me and my DH if we never have children. When we get old and our parents die, what will happen at holidays? Will we be left on our own while our siblings’ grow their families and have their own holidays? Will I always be so unhappy when I see babies? I am so afraid of this, it’s hard to even type.
    (ICLW)



  17. Mrs. Gamgee on October 21, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    I fear losing myself on this road toward building our family. I fear how easy it would be to slip into depression and not want to climb out of it.



  18. Kitty on October 21, 2009 at 2:01 pm

    What an amazing post. Your daughter is so cool!
    I’m afraid that if I never have children, there will be no one to remember me and hubs when we’re gone. Sounds pretty self-centered, huh? Well, I’m also afraid of spiders and the dark! 🙂
    ICLW



  19. WannabeMommy on October 21, 2009 at 2:52 pm

    I’m afraid that I’ll never be a mom… although, I do have a knowing that that is not true. Somehow, someway… it will happen. But the fear remains.
    PS. I like your kick-ass attitude! Happy ICLW



  20. junebug on October 21, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    I’m afraid of being happy. Silly I know but as soon as I feel happy I start looking for that shoe to drop. I want to be able to live in a content state. I have a good marriage but I’m waiting for the day the cops knock on my door and tell me about the tragic accident. I want kids but I’m afraid I’m I finally have one I will screw it up or something crazy. Perhaps in essence I’m really afraid of being afraid of living. Interesting topic. 🙂
    ICLW



  21. Lynn on October 21, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    My fear is that the treatments won’t work and, if we move onto adoption, no one will choose us. Also, with The Hubs having been out of work for almost a year, I’m afraid what the future will bring. So far he’s gotten nowhere with job-hunting and I feel as though we’ve lost a year towards TTC properly on top of it.
    Interesting and a little heartbreaking in places to read others’ fears.
    ~ICLW~



  22. Kimbosue on October 21, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    I am terrifed of losing my husband. He is 23 years my senior and we have a 6 month old. He is in great health and doesn’t look his age at all. But he had a heart issue 7 years ago and had 2 stents implanted. He is the only man in his family to live past the age of 50. It scares me to death to raise Miles on my own. I don’t know how the single mothers do it… (WOW that is the first time I have ever admitted this to anyone).
    ~ICLW



  23. Minta on October 21, 2009 at 6:48 pm

    I’m afraid of so many things. As I’m thinking of how to answer the question, I realize that I’m afraid of way too many things that are outside of my control. I’m afraid that I’ll give birth to a living child. I’m afraid that I’ll resent giving up on fertility treatments too soon. I’m afraid that my husband will resent me if we adopt and he doesn’t see himself in our child’s eyes. I’m afraid of never being a mother because of all the other fear. I’m afriad that I’ll die and leave him all alone. I’m afraid that I’ll get cancer (multiple myeloma) before we become parents. I’m afraid it (multiple myeloma) will develop after we become parents. I’m afraid all day, every day. It’s exhausting.



  24. Wishing4One on October 21, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    Um who does she take after…. and only in 3rd grade, WoW!
    I have many fears, but the biggest, strongest one is the obvious one, not having a child. We are trying to sqaush this fear but seem to be losing as of now.
    I’ve missed you, been a bad reader…. xoxoxoxo



  25. Elizabeth on October 21, 2009 at 7:24 pm

    I’m most afraid of failing. I’ve struggled in life like most people, but I put too much pressure on myself to be my version of perfect. Even thinking about failing to achieve my dreams is what makes me tear up: graduating college, a marriage that lasts forever, but mostly a family…
    (ICLW)



  26. theworms on October 21, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    I fear losing my dad before he gets to be a grandfather. He’s in good health but I’m so scared something will happen and he will get sick.



  27. Erica on October 21, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    I am afraid of my parents getting sick and dying. I know it is inevitable but time is flying by too fast



  28. pj on October 21, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    “The music is delighting and alive”! Seriously, are you sure she’s only in 3rd grade? I’ll bet she is tons of fun to work with as a teacher!
    I’m afraid that I screwed up by not persueing a family earlier, and now I’m afraid of never having one. I’m also afraid of going broke in the process, and the toll this whole thing has taken on us. But like Kyra said, I know I’m not alone. And I do take great comfort in that.
    Give her a shout out anytime. She is fantastic!



  29. Chanel on October 22, 2009 at 1:28 am

    I encounter my fear everyday. I look in the mirror and I see the failure that I have become.



  30. El Cinco's GranGran on October 22, 2009 at 1:30 am

    I’m afraid of the fact that I’m not afraid of anything. I thought and thought about it and honestly couldn’t think of anything. I don’t know if this is a bad thing or not.



  31. El Cinco's GranGran on October 22, 2009 at 10:56 am

    BARACK OBAMA:
    Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it’s not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won’t. it’s whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.



  32. coffeegrl on October 22, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    I’m afraid that maybe I’ve bitten off more than I can chew and that I’m in over my head.



  33. jill on October 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    I’m afraid I will never have the life I’ve always wanted and that I’ll be pathetically about it. I’m also afraid of not appreciating it if I do get it. I’ve always wanted to fall in love, get married and have a family. I fear I’m running out of time for those things.



  34. jill on October 23, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    pathetically sad about it, that is.



  35. jill on October 23, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    This reminds me of my psychology teacher in 12th grade. He asked us if there was one thing we could live without that we think would make our lives better, what would it be. He said his was fear and wondered how different his life would have been if he possessed no fear. I always think about that when I hold back from doing something because I’m afraid.



  36. jenn on October 23, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    My biggest fear is losing the hub or the pumpkin. or seeing them go through pain- i would rather take it all on myself than see either of them hurt.
    and just thinking about losing my little girl feels like someone has ripped my heart out & stomped on it.
    oh- and spiders. terrified of spiders!



  37. anymommy on October 24, 2009 at 10:37 pm

    Me too. I fear this every single day.