It's Not Unusual for Me to be a Nutball

Understandably, it's taken a while for me to be able to post here about my new journey without a) being riddled with sadness about how the last one ended and b) feeling guilty over allowing myself to feel happy again. I'm past that now (mostly), and today because there is something to celebrate, I'd like to finally tell you about my new intended mom, who herself is a fellow blogger.

When we first matched in July, my emotions were raw and she knew that I needed some time and some space to heal. It is uncommon for me to have or need "space" at the start of a surrogacy journey, or at any time at all during a journey, for that matter. I'm all about the bonding and in that respect, I feel that I've somewhat cheated her out of some of the happy-happy-joy-joy sparks that usually fly when you've found the one. She's been patient and kind — an understanding sounding board as I've made steps towards healing over the past few months. I don't know how I did it, but I managed to luck into yet another great relationship.

I first came to know Miss W more than a year ago via the Lost and Found. A prospective intended mother had questions about the compensation and fees that can be expected for a surrogate. I clicked through to her blog and left a lengthy reply. Soon after I posted a couple of comments on her blog, I found an introductory email from her. Little did I know, she already knew who I was from my blog, but
especially from my posts and reputation as a member and moderator of Surrogate Mothers Online (SMO). She explained that she and her husband (who here and on her blog is known as "Mr. W") had a 3-year old son (The Lowercase) who had been born prematurely due to her unicornuate uterus. Because of that and a history of repeat miscarriages, attempting to carry another pregnancy herself was not worth the risk, hence their need for a surrogate.

Mr. W was extremely hesitant to embark on a surrogacy journey. Understandably, the thought of a perfect stranger carrying his child was perfectly strange, especially given how rightfully protective he felt over his unconceived potential children. Miss W was equally hesitant, but initially more willing to explore the idea of trusting a virtual stranger with something so important. She explained that at first, The Uppercase was adamant about working with only a family member or friend. Those options were explored, but nothing panned out the way they hoped. Eventually he warmed to the idea of doing a typical search for a surrogate, and both of them were nervous about taking those steps forward. Advice is what she needed, and advice is what I gave. Advice turned into me finding a potential match for them and when that fell through a few months later, I gave my "thumbs up" for a second surrogate, who was a fellow long-time member of SMO. My support for and approval of those surrogates helped Miss W feel even more comfortable with those matches, as she trusted my opinions. Unfortunately, the second match also fell through. Timing and distance issues were factors in the dissolution of the matches, and those issues continued to make it difficult for Miss W and Mr. W to match. 

Meanwhile, we didn't email often, but occasionally Miss W would ask for additional advice, email to applaud how I handled certain caustic situations on SMO (it can sometimes get very heated on a message board full of women doped to the gills on injectible hormones), and continued to offer support through my journey with Chance and Apollo. When that journey ended in June, I had a new ad posted by July. Within a couple of weeks of that ad being posted, I found another email from Miss W in my inbox:

"…I was wondering if you would consider…because I've always thought so highly of you…let me hurry up and click "send" now before I chicken out again…."

We'd talked about surrogacy-related issues before but never about the prospect of us working together, so we agreed to get to know each other on that level and just see where things went from there. Her emails had always been so formal and her blog even has more of a formal tone to it. It didn't take long for me to learn that she actually is a complete and utter goofball geek.

Like me.

Only white.

And Mr. W is, too. Maybe even more so.

She described me to one of her friends and he said, "She sounds just like you, only Black."

Within days we realized that we have so much in common personality-wise, and we also have all the same opinions on the major surrogacy issues. Moving from "just talking" to "dude, we're matched!" was an easy step to take.

We keep each other laughing with the stupidest of things and I have the feeling that we are going to be nothing but trouble once we finally get to meet in person. 

For various reasons on both of our parts, we've had to wait a long while for anything "official" to happen. They had a phone consult with my clinic about a month ago and that was the equivalent of toeing up to the line, but today marks the first major bit forward motion. There was a bloodletting, and nothing says progress like a needle in vein. Today was Miss W's blood work for the Clomid Challenge test that Dr. Sleep ordered. And so it begins….

A while ago, somehow Miss W and I found ourselves discussing the comical goodness that is The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire. She double-dog dared me to do the Carlton and post it for a Show and Tell. 

Seeing as how it's a special occasion and I have few qualms about making a complete ass of myself:

Who else is standing at the front of the class this week? Check it out with Mel at her weekly Show and Tell.


  1. GeekByMarriage on October 28, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    I could kiss her for issuing that challenge. OMG I laughed so hard! I’m so happy you two found each other and here’s to a fruitful partnership!

  2. T Lee on October 28, 2009 at 9:50 pm

    Hahahaha, oh the Carlton…
    And I’m so glad y’all found eachother!

  3. Mel on October 28, 2009 at 10:12 pm

    I am so happy for both of you! And excited to cheer both of you on through this match. I love seeing two bloggers come together.

  4. a on October 28, 2009 at 10:17 pm

    You do an excellent Carlton! Hilarious! I’m glad you and Miss W have found each other – you can always use another soul mate.

  5. Calliope on October 28, 2009 at 10:24 pm

    AHHHHHHHH!!!! ha ha ha ha!!
    I am so so so excited that you & Miss W are on a path together. You KNOW I am fond of W’s. 🙂
    looking forward to being a cheerleader for you both.

  6. JessPond on October 28, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    Your family looks so happy, I can’t help but smile.
    Congrats on the match!!
    (It’s interesting to me how alike this is to adoption matching.)

  7. Melissa on October 28, 2009 at 11:07 pm

    this post seriously just made my day! love it!!

  8. anymommy on October 28, 2009 at 11:23 pm

    You are a riot. I’m so happy for you.

  9. Kristin on October 28, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    You my friend are beautiful and I love seeing you have so much fun! Miss W rocks for issuing that challenge. BTW, I loved The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire.

  10. Andrea on October 28, 2009 at 11:40 pm

    They should have a new category on those TV dance competitions: Four-Year-Old Flingin’. You’d totally win!
    It’s so obvious you love your family. Congrats on your new journey!

  11. Jen on October 28, 2009 at 11:59 pm

    OMG this was the 2nd best thing I’ve seen all day! And dont worry, you only take backseat to Michael Jackson. I saw his ‘This is It’ show tonight.
    LOVE the video! I rated it 5 stars! hehe

  12. Baby Smiling In Back Seat on October 29, 2009 at 12:03 am

    I love the Carleton, esp. by you!
    Very best of luck to you and the Ws this time around, my dear.

  13. Valery on October 29, 2009 at 4:29 am

    you ARE a Smart One! and a Wild One 🙂 Thanks for sharing a wildly happy moment.
    “She double-dog dared me …” Does this mean Miss W will post a Carlton video too?
    Good luck to all of you.

  14. Nishkanu on October 29, 2009 at 4:55 am

    Great story, really happy for you. And thanks for making my wide-awake-at-4-AM night with the video!!

  15. afteriris on October 29, 2009 at 6:11 am

    I had to come out of lurkdom to say how brilliant that video is! Thanks for making me giggle!

  16. Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo on October 29, 2009 at 6:21 am

    You are both blessed with each other!
    Miss W is an amazing woman and you two will have the journey of a lifetime!
    Blessings to all of you!

  17. Betty M on October 29, 2009 at 6:31 am

    A great way to start the day! Happy for both of you.

  18. sherylhs on October 29, 2009 at 8:29 am

    You are the bomb!!! That was fantastic!!

  19. cheryllookingforward on October 29, 2009 at 8:57 am

    Good luck, good luck to you and the W family!

  20. tash on October 29, 2009 at 9:32 am

    Awww, I really do love how you kinda fell backwards into your last two matches. Am looking forward to reading about the journey!

  21. once a mother on October 29, 2009 at 11:24 am

    hahaha you did a great carlton! looks like you all had a fun time!

  22. mybumpyjourney on October 29, 2009 at 11:48 am

    YEAH!!!! I am exciting for you and the Ws!! WOOOO HOOOO!!!!
    You are hysterical. I love the video. Just one question: Is that statue of a dog, or a real dog? LOL. You can tell he is used to your dancing antics. I think he only moved an ear. 🙂

  23. Beautiful Mess on October 29, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    You are truly an amazing dancer! The bootie shake was my favorite. And your back-up dancer deserve a round of applause, too!
    YAY for being matched and moving forward. Sending everyone so much love and good JUJU!

  24. karlinda on October 29, 2009 at 12:08 pm

    Congrats on the match! And the best of luck to all of you.
    Loved your Carlton. You and the girls look like you have such fun together. 🙂

  25. Julie on October 29, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Oh, GREAT! Two of my favorite people inside the computer have found luuuuuuv. This makes me smile and smile. Congratulations on a beautiful match!

  26. ssy on October 29, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Miss W suggested I come over here and take a looksee at your video. I’m very glad she did! I HEART Miss W and I now officially HEART you too!

  27. Dora on October 29, 2009 at 2:12 pm

    This is wonderful news! Congrats all around!
    LOVE the video!

  28. Wishing4One on October 29, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    You ARE such a geek girl, I LOVE it! How cool is this match? Just amazing! Look forward to following this journey with you both. And yes about the Big Ones girl, i am so in.

  29. Lavender Luz on October 29, 2009 at 2:22 pm

    AS IF I could love you any more than I did. NOW I DO!
    I SO want to do a nutjub dance with you sometime.
    Good luck to you and the Miss.

  30. Wannabemom on October 29, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    OMG!!! You guys are hysterical! I LOVE IT!!!
    Can’t wait to follow your journey with Miss W!

  31. Stacie on October 29, 2009 at 5:41 pm

    I have to say, I love you more after watching this video. That was f*cking hysterical. You rock, Moxie!

  32. Fertility Chick on October 29, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    You are hilarious!! So happy for you both!!

  33. Cindy on October 29, 2009 at 8:46 pm

    This is one of my favorite-ist posts ever! 🙂 Love the Carlton, love that you found a match, so excited for you….all of you. 🙂

  34. Lynn on October 29, 2009 at 9:11 pm

    Many congratulations to you both! I’ll eagerly be watching how things come together. Youtube is being a pain and won’t load the video for me, so I’ll have to come back later to watch! I loved that show!

  35. Sue on October 30, 2009 at 11:41 pm

    Congratulations on such a great match! I used to read Miss W, when we were first trying, and recall some of her early thoughts about surrogacy. So glad you two found each other!

  36. coffeegrl on October 31, 2009 at 10:34 am

    Awesome! Congratulations on the match! And thanks a million for sharing this video. You are a fabulous dancer and really, how can you not love “The Carlton”?

  37. Quiet Dreams on November 2, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    You are a rock star.
    I wish I knew you in the flesh. 🙂

  38. Jennette on November 3, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Sounds like a fabulous match. I’ll be on the sidelines cheering you on.
    Love the dancing, you have me smiling and laughing out loud at my work desk!

  39. leanne on November 4, 2009 at 10:55 am

    Thank you for making my day! (home sick with the flu) Awesome dance video.
    Best wishes to you and Miss W!

  40. K77 on November 12, 2009 at 7:48 am

    I’m so excited about this match!

  41. […] Julie — the Julie of A Little Pregnant — said that I was one of her favorite people inside the computer**. […]