Freaks on a Leash

Didn't you know that there's a leash law? How much do you owe for not keeping your inner freak on a leash?

I double-dog dare you to add up your fines and post how much you owe in the comments:

This is fun to do. Just read the 'offence' and if you've done it, you owe that fine.
You don't have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.
NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.

Smoked weed — $10
Did acid or pills — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican — $20
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents' bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Cross dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed someone who's name you didn't know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive and drank — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video or took pictures — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in public — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex –$25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars– $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time– $50
Said you love someone but didn't mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Pissed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

Tally it up and put "My Fine Is $XXX" in the comments.

For the record, my fine is $340.

45 thoughts on “Freaks on a Leash”

  1. Hell yeah I will! I was going to put that if anyone got more then me that they should email me ASAP! LMAO!

  2. Only $285.60.
    I did not count the “acid” one — I got $0.10 for kissing someone whose name I do not know, who just happened to have dropped acid a few minutes before. I came home with a bad headache, but come on, it was a Bloodhound Gang/Iggy Pop concert πŸ˜‰
    Also, anyone who does not have at least $0.50 after their dollar figure? Is a liar! I don’t think ANYONE made it through childhood without peeing in the pool!

  3. I got pretty far into the list thinking I was going to come up with no fines at all, but my final tally is $310.
    P.S.- If you get the fine for pool pissing or kissing someone whose name you don’t know, you automatically tell on yourself because those have unusual values (the rest are multiples of $5).

  4. Apparently a and I are twins, because $335.60. Although I’m pretty sure I did know his name at the time (actually, upon reflection, I think it was Nick, and this is more than 20 years later, and for the record he was a friend-of-a-friend, so …), and I’m applying the “kid” rule to the pool question. So maybe just $335. On the other hand, I married the guy who’s more than 10 years my senior, so maybe that’s worth more (or less) than just jumping in the sack …
    Also, I’d like to share the following funny story about item #4 on the list (“Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you”): At my brother-in-law’s 50th birthday party, much alcohol was consumed; most guests spent the night, and DH and I ended up sleeping snuggled on a twin mattress on the floor in the basement because after the guys’ (DH and his DBs’) dad showed up for the party (unexpected), there was one bed too few. Right before bedtime I was cold and shouted at my BIL for something to put over my t-shirt; he tossed me a sweatshirt. It happened to belong to one of my nieces-by-marriage, i.e., the wife of one of my husband’s nephew’s (got that)? First thing hungover DH (who had crawled into bed with me in the dark) noticed when he woke up (I was still sleeping) was that he was sleeping next to a woman wearing his niece-by-marriage’s sweatshirt (so he assumed I was her and obviously the question was, what was he doing sleeping beside her). Hilarity ensued ;)).

  5. Ha- this is hilarious!
    $290.50. Seems to be petty middle of the road- I guess.
    And yes- 100% positive there was some point in my youth when I peed in a pool. πŸ˜‰

  6. $385.50 — and my husband STILL think’s I’m a goody two-shoes. Totally not sharing this list with him. LOL!

  7. I’m almost ashamed to write it. My total is 75.50. How is that possible? When all five kids are grown I’m going to have to go out and be wild a bit more.

  8. Totally late in the game, but thought it was fun. I ended with 110.10. OUch, I think that’s the lowest on here,… which means I’m boring.

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