I used to worry 'bout the future,
but then I threw my caution to the wind.
"Canned Heat" ~ Jamiroquai
So, I've been hush-hush on the whole hunt for new IPs. I could tell you all about my my surrogacy ad and how I stalk my inbox for replies. I could tell you about the conversations with various prospective IPs (PIPs) that I've had over the past month and how some seem just plain crazy: WILL YOU BE OUR SURROGANT WE THINK YOU LOOK REAL GOOD IN YOUR PITCHER? (I'm not kidding here, people). I could tell you about the mini-meltdown and flare-up of pisstivity that I had a couple of weeks ago out of frustration that my PCOS continues to complicate the matching process.
I could have told you those things, but I didn't because I feared that it would seem like I'd end up posting about a lot of little failures before I got to tell you about a successful match, and quite frankly, I'm sick of posting about failures. I've also been keeping the matching phase on the down low this time because I didn't want to feel like I was jinxing anything once it seemed like things might be headed in the right direction.
Well, things might be headed in the right direction with a couple. Screw it; damned the Jinx Effect. If things will end up going south, it won't be because I opened up and talked about it. I've felt some excitement creeping back in and I'm finally feeling the itch in my fingers to write about it.
All told, there's not really too much to say yet, but here are the deets thus far: for the past couple of weeks, I've been chatting with a lovely couple from the Atlanta area. We exchanged a few emails and it was quickly apparent that we have a lot in common, and a couple of phone conversations have proven the compatibility even more. Now, we've reached the hurdle having my records sent to their clinic from my various physicians. Doing the paper chase is always a hassled test of patience; medical release forms are faxed back and forth and then we get the pleasure of twiddling our thumbs to the tune of hurry up and wait.
This is the part that I hate because it's the "make it or break it" mark. It's the point at which the RE must balance my prior history of successful pregnancies and good response to IVF transfer meds against the negative aspect of my PCOS. Some doctors, like Dr. Sleepy at the clinic I've been with for the past 2.5 years, put much more stock in my body's ability to carry a healthy pregnancy than in my body's inability to get pregnant without a kick in the ovaries with Clomid. Others take a blanket view of PCOS and the risks that it poses and let that outweigh the positive history that I do have. I don't fault them for that – risks are risks and I would much rather that PIPs' REs fully inform their patients on those risks. It just is what it is, and though it gives me another hoop to jump through while matching, it's an important one that needs to be considered. Keep your fingers crossed for me. If I can get over this hurdle, I think there's a very strong chance that I'll be matched again.
Now that I've updated you, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea for me to go light some white candles and burn some chicken feathers or something in effort to ward off bad mojo.