This is a guest post written by my “big little sister” Chanel.
It was a warm summer day in the year of 2001. I sat my sisters and my Mom down, tried my hardest to not squirm or twiddle with my fingers and proceeded to tell them “my secret.” I felt the overwhelming feel of six eyes piercing seemingly through me. “Can I really do this?” I thought to myself. The bubbly gurgling intense feeling of nausea grabbed my stomach and turned knots into full-blown bubble guts. Come on, Chanel….don’t but such a punk. Be like Nike and just do it. My little motivational speech to myself that gave me a modicum of encouragement was just enough for me to inhale deeply and find the words” “Mom…Moxie…Dani…I have to tell you…I’m gay.”
The words felt like salt on a nicely placed scratch on the inner realms of my cheek. I closed my eyes and pulled a Former IF McMillan – I waited to exhale. It was as if the words echoed through the world and Earth did a momentary stutter step and then halted. In my head, I could hear the theme song to the Final Jeopardy question resonate. It seemed like minutes went by, when all actuality, it was only a few seconds. I waited for a response…waited for question after question to be fired upon me.
My younger sister was the first to respond. “Chanel,” she said to me with the utmost sincerity in her voice, “we already knew that. Mom, what’s for dinner”?
Moxie and Mom both busted out laughing and responded, ”We were waiting for you to realize it.” And this…was my coming out story.
As you all are already familiar with, my family is not normal. Mom is the deadly version of Clair Huxtable. She can cook a mean pot roast and then tell you five different ways to use a spoon as a lethal weapon. And she loves me for me. Danielle is Dora from Finding Nemo…always encouraging me to “just keep swimming” even when I forget how to swim or just don’t want to tread water anymore. And she loves me for me. Moxie, the prudish/gangsta nerd version of Charlotte from Sex in the City, taught me that it’s ultimately awesome to be a nerd and a geek and not to be ashamed that I read the dictionary just for the hell of it. And she loves me for me.
*Imagine Morgan Freeman a la Shawshank Redemption while reading these last few lines.*
I wish that the teenagers and even kids these days had such an amazing support system as the one I have. I wish that every kid that committed suicide because they were being bullied for being gay, could have come to my house to be surrounded by this abundance of love and happiness that was echoed throughout my life. I wish I could tell them that it’s okay to be gay…that being “normal” is boring and being “abnormal” is what makes life worth living. I would tell them, “Be proud of who you are. Be proud that you’d rather rock rainbows than to rock hate and to never let anyone steal your gay away.” Pun intended.
*Exit Morgan Freeman voice here*
I am proud to be who I am. I am proud to have been raised in a house that was filled with love, fun times, and the true meaning of family and tolerance. I’m proud to be able to stand under a big gay rain
And for that I am truly blessed.bow flag, with my sisters and my Mom standing under the same big gay rainbow flag with me.