My Week, As Illustrated by Prince

I can tell from StatCounter (don’t act like you’ve never stalked your metrics) that many of you have been coming back to see if I’ve finally gotten around to posting Part III of my series on emotional/mental infertility and how it affects the Adoption, Loss, and Infertility (ALI) community (here are Part I and Part II).

Well. This week has been nothing short of one catastrophe after the other. It actually started on the weekend. On Saturday, Kyra fell flat on her back from the very top of a jungle gym at the playground. On Sunday evening, Jordan and TJ were playing around, and Teej accidentally gave Jordan a black eye. These two details are relevant.

Come, and let me tell you about my week thus far.

Monday was a special day, but it was painfully bittersweet and my heart hurt like hell. I woke up in a sad-with-a-touch-of-pissy mood.

The same morning, we got the news that Frank’s paternal grandfather had just passed away. Monday deserved to get its ass kicked. I’m pretty sure that my face was set into a semi-permanent side eye.

Then on Tuesday I got a call home from the school nurse (Nurse Frank – “Frank” as in that’s his first name and I love the fact that the kids’ school nurse is a Black male with a voice like Barry White’s) called to let me know that Jordan’s eye was bothering him. As I was in class, I had my sister run some Tylenol over and to sign Jordan out if he felt like he needed to come home. He decided to stay (“I was going to miss the math lesson I really wanted to know about, Mom!”). I hope he keeps that academic hunger. By the time I got to third grade, when it came to math I was like

On Wednesday (that was only yesterday, right? Shit, this has been a long week already), Jaiden had a full-on head collision with an opponent at his soccer game. I looked down for a quick moment to read a text. A split second later I heard the crowd collectively exclaim, “OOOOOOOOH!” in the way that sports crowds do when someone is down for the count. I looked up and saw two players faceplanted on the field. The one that didn’t get up after a few seconds was Jaiden.

I had a  mediocre Monday and a craptastic Tuesday. As I was running top-speed across the field, I thought to myself, “Really, Wednesday? Bitch, please.”

It took Jaiden around three or four minutes before he felt the strength to flip over to his back. I held up one hand and asked him how many fingers I had up. His eyes sort-of glazed over and he said, “Seven” (because I am totally capable of growing two extra fingers in moments of great stress).

I had up four.

Needless to say, we were off to urgent care. Jaiden had a bruise and a huge goose egg cropping up on his right cheekbone just beneath his eye. He also had vertigo and blurred vision, as proven by the fact that he has 20/20 vision, yet couldn’t clearly read the letters below the third or fourth line on the eye chart.

We were hustled off to the hospital for a stat CT scan. Thankfully, there weren’t any signs of a concussion. However, it was explained to us that symptoms could still crop up within a 24-hour window. We were instructed to wake him every 2 hours through the night to ensure that he hadn’t lost consciousness and to get him to the ER immediately if it was difficult to rouse him or if he started puking. We’d already decided that I would stay home from work so that Frank wouldn’t have to miss his classes, so guess who didn’t get any sleep last night?

I set the alarm on my phone to go off every two hours, but it wasn’t really needed because every ten minutes I padded over to his room to be sure he was still breathing.

Wait a second – TODAY is Wednesday, isn’t it? Yesterday was only Tuesday. Good grief. I was about to scroll back up and edit what I’d written to reflect the correct days, but I’ll let it stay to serve as proof of just how out of it I am right now. All that shit happened yesterday. Today Jaiden seemed to be improving through most of the day, but around dinner time he began feeling wonky again. I hope it it’s only due to exhaustion and the fact that it was near the time for his next dose of Motrin and not because there is some developing problem. The doc reassured us that it’s normal if it takes a few days for his symptoms to abate completely. Cue paranoia.

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Around noon, Nurse Frank called to let me know that Jordan crashed and burned at recess playing soccer (dammit with the soccer!). Jordan had a few scratches on his knee, which Nurse Frank patched up. Jordan was already halfway back to class by the time Nurse Frank picked up the phone. Then around 1 he called again to tell me that Kaelyn was on the receiving end of a fistful of sand in her face. He flushed out her eyes, and after I talked to her, she, too decided that she was okay to finish out the last 1.5 hours of the school day.

THEN! About an hour after bedtime, Kyra came hobbling over to our room in tears because her ribs, hip, and back were hurting from her fall. She’s usually made of iron and isn’t one to cry from general physical discomfort. While she freely doles out hugs and affection, she’s not really one to be emotionally needy or clingy. Tonight, she was almost working herself into a panic. I got a sense for how badly she was feeling when she collapsed into my lap, snaked her arms around my neck, and flopped her head on my shoulder. At a couple of months shy of age 11, she’s nearly as tall I am.  I adjusted her tall, lanky body so that she wouldn’t slip out of my arms. “I’m scared,” she whispered, just as I felt her hot tears plop onto my shoulder.

I ran a hot bath for her with some epsom salts, gave her a dose of Tylenol to back up the Motrin she’d taken earlier, and managed to get her calmed down. After a half hour, she was feeling much better. We wound her torso in an Ace bandage and then tucked her into bed with the heating pad.

I am exhausted. All I want is a cup of tea…

and a hot bath of my own.

Hopefully we’ll be able to get through tomorrow without any mishaps. Jordan does have a soccer game tomorrow evening. If Thursday shits on us like Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday did, it can kiss my butt, too. 

 

Frank and I (and his mom) are leaving early Friday morning to make the 10-hour drive to Louisiana to attend his grandfather’s funeral, which will be held on Saturday.

There are two rays of sunshine in the forecast, though. A bloggy friend who I’ve hoped to meet for years lives and works local to Frank’s hometown, so we’re going to meet up for dinner on Friday night.

And next week is Spring Break.

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WORD.

 

*Big ups to my dawg Hellraisin for sparking the Princely inspiration for this post. 

35 Comments

  1. Chanel on March 28, 2012 at 11:33 pm

    LMAO….you’re stupid!!!!!!



    • JW Moxie on March 28, 2012 at 11:35 pm

      Yo mama’s stupid.



      • Chanel on March 28, 2012 at 11:50 pm

        oooooooooooooooooooooooo I’m telllinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn



  2. Keiko on March 28, 2012 at 11:40 pm

    The sheer breadth of animated .gifs of Prince is breathtaking. I could watch those gifs for hours.

    Hump day’s over. It’s a slide into a homerun weekend. Good golly, girl – take it easy! Lots of hugs and Motrin for the kids. Seriously.



  3. Sara on March 29, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Love the Princepiration (love!), but hate the week you’re having! Hugs.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:23 pm

      It’s been a stir-fried poop kind of week. I think we deserve to win this half a billion dollar jackpot now.



  4. AizaMay on March 29, 2012 at 7:04 am

    I love the moving photos you have here…I have never seen any like these before…It looks really funny and it has humor…



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:22 pm

      Thank you!



  5. Laura on March 29, 2012 at 7:40 am

    I am so sorry that your week has been craptastic but I have to say that I love this post so much I want to wrap it in a blanket and snuggle it for hours. I hereby declare that EVERYTHING in this world be illustrated by Prince. He has magical powers and I am sure your family is going to be healed immediately.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:22 pm

      I think the Paisley Park Purple mojo is working! Hopefully it lasts!



  6. Hellraisin on March 29, 2012 at 7:46 am

    Great goshamighty! What a whirlwind of stress! You must be quite discombobulated.
    http://www.coolalbumreview.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Prince-Gif4.gif
    I’m glad everyone is getting better and I hope the weekend is much kinder to you all.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:21 pm

      Well, considering that I still have funeral to get through, I hope that’s going to be the lowest of the low this weekend.

      At least everyone is in recovery now!



  7. Lisa G. on March 29, 2012 at 8:07 am

    Awesomely clever. And the fact that you used Prince — I just have to say it: Word to the mother! Hope the family gets better really quickly.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:20 pm

      Thank you, Lisa!



  8. a on March 29, 2012 at 9:20 am

    Oh my Lord! I am cringing at all the events, but the Prince illustrations have me cracking up! This is not comfortable!

    Hope the rest of the week is injury-free.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:20 pm

      I know – it’s so wrong of me to make you laugh through all of the wrongness of this week! I’m gangsta like that. 😉



  9. leanne on March 29, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Oh, my. Wow. You have had quite the week. UGH. Hugs to you.

    (The Prince animations made for some awesome comic relief though!)



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:19 pm

      The Purple One makes everything better with his glitter musicology. 🙂



  10. Megan on March 29, 2012 at 11:18 am

    Yikes. I’m sorry about your stupid week. I hope it and all your busted up kiddos get real better real fast.

    Also, love the Prince-iness! I didn’t know before seeing this post that Beyoncé steals her moves from him.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:17 pm

      Where have you been, Megan! I need updates, please!



  11. Tisha on March 29, 2012 at 11:24 am

    Oh. My. God. That’s all I can say about your week, although it also applies to the use of the Prince animations. I thought that kid injuries were supposed to happen when you’re out of town, not before you leave.

    My condolences to you and Frank (the fantastic fartknocker, not the nurse) on the loss of his grandfather.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:13 pm

      I surely hope that we’ve had our run of injuries for a long, long while, especially since we’re leaving at the buttcrack of dawn tomorrow morning. I’ll panic if someone gets hurt before we get back Monday evening.



  12. EmmaK on March 29, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    OMG this cracked me up! I’m sorry you’ve had such an exhausting week but you know why not take a day off each week when you don’t wear 6 inch stilletto boots and crotch hugging spandex pants?! You’ll feel so much better. WORD



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:12 pm

      I leave all that stuff to The Purple One. Spandex would be a crime on these thighs.



  13. julie gardner on March 29, 2012 at 5:23 pm

    Holy crapola what a week – so far. Thanks for the Prince but I feel the need to kick something’s ass for you.

    Soccer? Sand? CT scans?
    Something?

    Hang in there.
    You’re a fierce mama and your kids (and Frank) are lucky to have you on their sides.

    Sorry for the loss of his grandfather.
    Love to you. And peace soon.



    • JW Moxie on March 29, 2012 at 9:07 pm

      Let’s see…you could give the collective whole of my disrespectful, disobedient, feels-entitled, get-on-my-ever-lovin’-last-nerve group of students a swift kick in the rear. Your martial arts kids can get in on the action, too. xoxo



  14. Alexicographer on March 29, 2012 at 11:00 pm

    Yikes. Love the approach to the post, not happy about the content (well, except the pics, which are fabulous). I’m so sorry to hear about Frank’s granddad (and all the rest of it too of course).

    This: I set the alarm on my phone to go off every two hours, but it wasn’t really needed because every ten minutes I padded over to his room to be sure he was still breathing. Yes. Just, yes.

    I’m hoping no one’s spring break plans include the word “soccer,” except maybe as in “… and take a break from soccer?”



  15. Baby Smiling In Back Seat on March 29, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    Sorry for your loss.

    Also, yowza. But the Prince theme was inspired.

    When I took up rock climbing in high school, the instructor told us that we’d be far more likely to get hurt if we were playing soccer instead. Apparently he was right and soccer is a horror show.

    It’s gotta get better from here, right?



  16. Adrienne on March 30, 2012 at 11:31 pm

    What a great week you had! Anyway, I really love the moving photos and they are all awesome! I like it so much that i want to learn on my own…



  17. Lattoyah on April 1, 2012 at 9:27 pm

    Your week was quite jam-packed and I like how you incorporated Prince’s moving images just to lighten up the feeling while reading your posts. Hope everything is fine now. 🙂 Take care!



  18. Dr. Cynicism on April 2, 2012 at 8:14 am

    Dear God — you’ve been through the ringer! You deserve an uneventful Spring Break with peace and relaxation. Also, you have the largest collection of Prince gifs known to man.



  19. Eldon P. on April 2, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    The moving pictures are just awesome. Where did you get them? You’re week was very hectic. Pretty much explained by the pictures.

    -Eldon



  20. It Goes On on April 2, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    […] I am tired. I thought that our current run of sickness and injuries exhausted itself once Jaiden recovered from his head collision. However upon our return home last […]



  21. MommyLady on March 24, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    LOL… I read this before and I’m sitting her laughing my ass off! This is sooooo cool!



    • Kymberli aka JW Moxie on March 24, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      I read this a couple of weeks ago and was rolling, too, Mom!