MOVE

move

There is a lot of social media chatter about selecting your “word” for the year. This is not a new thing, but it is the first time I’ve considered selecting a word for myself. It has been a while since I gave myself something to hang onto. Somewhere in the past couple of years, I gave up on setting and working towards personal goals. In retrospect, I know when it happened, though I didn’t view it that way at the time.

For so long, what I personally strove for was completing a second successful surrogacy journey. Once all that was over, I put no other goal as a target to work toward. It’s not that I didn’t want to–it’s just that I felt lost and couldn’t clarify a focus. It was frustrating, that feeling of searching for but not finding anything. So, I gave up. I backseated myself and instead focused on helping Frank and the kids accomplish their goals. Not that I didn’t before, but focusing on only them took the pressure off of trying to find something that I could claim for myself.

It also caused me to lose little pieces of myself along the way, too. I got lazy. Lazy with my words, lazy with my body, lazy with my efforts, lazy with my looking. I’d deluded myself into believing that all of my looking was pointless and that instead of searching for change, I should stop forcing it and just let it come to me. Well, the only things that changed were the size of my gut and tone of my attitude, and neither changed for the better.

I feel ready to make Big Things happen in 2014, to shed this dried-up cocoon of complacency and make the world spin the way I want it to instead of being spun by the world.

Yesterday after reading Lizz’s post about her word, I got hooked on the concept of trying to determine a word for myself. I couldn’t sleep last night (which is nothing new) because my mind kept trying on and discarding a flurry of words.

Then the word move came to mind. I rolled it over a few times and felt it click into place. Then rolled over, clicked into place against Frank, and was able to sleep soundly.

2013 was all about keeping my head low, as if by not moving, I could avoid attracting the attention of more bad luck to come my way. Staying still and being quiet meant that I didn’t have to think about the problems I had no control over. Avoidance is how I deal with things. The problem isn’t there if I don’t give it any energy. The problem with that is not giving anything any energy makes you stagnant. Made me stagnant. I need to move.

I need to move my body and get healthy. I need to move my mind and write. Read. Create. Do. Make. I need to move my thoughts away from this grey place and finally make some solid steps towards dealing with the D-word.

Many have chosen not to share their words, but I am sharing mine so that I am held accountable for it. I know that when the going gets tough, I will need encouragement and prodding when I begin slipping into what feels easy instead of doing the heavy lifting.

I have no resolutions this year. Resolutions aren’t resolute at all and have no more permanence than words scratched into sand.

I am, however, making a commitment to myself to move. 

What moves do you want to make for yourself this year?

 (photo credit)

15 Comments

  1. jenn on January 3, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    Yes yes yes!!! I love your word and I love this concept. I want resolutions this year because I feel the need for a concrete anchor after the terrible drifting uncertainty the storm of 2013 was but I am struggling with what they are exactly. Now- the feeling of what I want is clear so boiling it to that perfect word should be much easier than a laundry list of do this don’t do that.
    Thank you!!!



    • Kymberli on January 3, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      You just said that so beautifully: “…I feel the need for a concrete anchor after the terrible drifting uncertainty the storm of 2013…”

      I’m excited to read all the beauty that’s going to come spilling out of your fingers this year.



  2. Kristin on January 3, 2014 at 7:22 pm

    Kym…I love your choice for your word for 2014. I went over and read Lizz’s post too. I think I’ve been inspired to find my wordof the year.

    As for the D word, I practically think it’s a rite of passage that all women go through. I know I had the hardest time admitting to my depression back in the day and an even harder time admitting I needed chemical help. Let me know if you want or need to talk. Love you, thugette.



    • Kymberli on January 3, 2014 at 10:02 pm

      You are a constant rock in a swirl of variables, Kristin. That much I know for sure. <3



  3. sharah on January 3, 2014 at 7:54 pm

    My word for the year is “Release.” And I heartily recommend working through Susannah Conway’s Unravelling 2014 workbook – it’s a free download from her site and a great way to think about the year behind and the year ahead.



    • Kymberli on January 3, 2014 at 10:04 pm

      That’s a good word, Sharah. Sooo many different levels to it. I’ll have to look up the workbook. Thanks for the heads up on it!



  4. McPolish on January 3, 2014 at 8:48 pm

    YES. I love this. And I kind of want to steal your word. But after reading your post and Lizz’s, I’m going with another word that seems to have stuck in my head. So my word for the year is “Create.”

    Oh, this word. It does mean and can mean so much to me. I am stoked just thinking about it.



    • Kymberli on January 3, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      I’m stoked knowing that YOU’RE so stoked. Seriously. Being able to connect to others like this? It makes me wonder why I took such a long hiatus from writing.



      • McPolish on January 4, 2014 at 8:33 pm

        It happens, Particularly when our heads are under dark clouds. I always know when I’m coming out of the cloud because I start itching to write, and words lap over themselves trying to get out (which actually makes it hard to even start putting words together in a coherent sentence, but after awhile it straightens out. 🙂 )



  5. Esperanza on January 4, 2014 at 12:44 am

    My word this year is “patience.” With a new baby at home and a precocious 3.5 year old who is struggling mightily with the transition, plus a partner who is having a hard time filling out the role of a father of two, not to mention all my middle school students who can’t understand why I’m exhausted from everything at home, it feels like the right word for me. I hope I can remember my commitment to keep working on it, because I really so think it would improve my quality of life.



  6. Jessica Carter on January 4, 2014 at 12:57 am

    I love it! My original word for the year was “satisfied” because I feel a strong desire to finally find a way to make peace with myself in knowing that I am doing all that I can do, to accept that as long as I am giving it (whatever “it” is) my all, I should be satisfied. BUT…three days into the new year “satisfied” doesn’t feel right. It just doesn’t seem to click for me. So, back to the slate I went. Surprisingly, it did not take me long to determine what my word MUST be for 2014…it was literally right under my nose (well, on a sign on my desk anyway). SERENITY. This is what I will strive for in 2014. It will be my mantra. I will achieve SERENITY this year…or I will fail miserably, but either way, I will accept and change as wisdom guides 🙂



  7. Justine on January 4, 2014 at 8:15 am

    Kym, I love your word, and your energy! You are on the move, forward, up, out, around … I can’t wait to see where you go in 2014! I don’t have a word yet … I’m still in “discarding” Phase. But I definitely need a goal, now that I’ve landed at last.



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