For the sake of my newer readers who don’t know much (if anything) about my history:
I am a retired gestational surrogate. The focus of my archives (2008-2010) is mostly centered on my efforts to carry a second surrogacy pregnancy. In 2007, I delivered a healthy baby boy to my former intended parents, Stephanie and Terry.
I just found out that Sam, now age 4, was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Lymphoma (ALL) yesterday. Leukemia. Cancer. My Sam.
I can hardly see straight, so here are the point-blank facts as I know them (and I’m sure I screwed something up because as soon as I heard LEUKEMIA my mind stopped functioning properly):
- They’re waiting to get lab results from Atlanta to determine to what stage it has advanced.
- Sam has been in the hospital since late Tuesday night when they sent him to get further testing. He’ll be in at least until Monday. Tomorrow he’ll start chemo via portacath. When he’s discharged, he’ll continue with oral chemotherapy. Once they get the results from Atlanta, they’ll work up a more specific treatment plan.
- ALL has an 85% survival rate, which as ominous as it sounds, is actually fairly good as far as cancer goes. As it was explained to Stephanie, it is better that he has ALL versus Acute Myeloid Lymphoma (AML).
- The average span of treatment is three years.
“The only other time I’ve ever seen Terry cry is when Sam was born, Moxie,” Stephanie said. At this, her voice cracked for the first time. “Sam is a miracle. I just will not believe that he will be taken from us when we all did so much to get him here.”
My characteristic pull to be a “fixer” is in overdrive. I feel helpless and impotent, because there is nothing that I can do to make it better.
Stephanie asked me to tell everyone about Sam’s diagnosis, in the hopes that people will add him to prayer lists if they’re the praying type or to send good thoughts if they’re not. “Use those words of yours,” she said. “It took many people to get him here. Maybe the good thoughts of many will help keep him here.”
Here is the link to Sam’s CaringBridge page. I know that Stephanie would love it if you would stop by and leave some words for them. I can’t lend some part of my body or will his body into remission by the sheer power of my love for him, but I can ask you to add Sam to your prayer lists, or to do whatever it is you do when someone is in need of some good mojo.
*Please. Please make this one right.
{ 104 comments… read them below or add one }
Lots of love going out to Sam, his parents, and you.
Quiet Dreams recently posted..sock it to me
Thanks for always standing with me, QD. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Lots of love and prayers for Sam and his parents. Sue
Oh, no. My heart and my prayers will be with all of you, especially sweet little Sam.
Megan recently posted..New Look
Thanks, Megan. <3
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Moxie, definitely without hesitation I’ll add Sam to my prayers. Don’t you worry Moxie girl, hes going to make it through this. He will. I’m thinking of you and Sam’s parents….and I don’t think I need to tell you how much you rock my socks. You’re amazing.
Erica recently posted..I Hugged A “Someone” Today. And He Cried.
*sniff* Thanks for praying for my Meatball and for helping to get the word around.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Oh no. I am so, so sorry (what a beautiful picture, BTW).
It’s not leukemia, but http://mandameow.blogspot.com/ is the blog of a mom after infertility (IVF + very, very premature birth) whose daughter, now 5 (6?) and in remission, had a different kind of cancer, hepatoblastoma. I’d guess that if Stephanie and Terry wanted, Manda’s mom would welcome contact and be a good source of support. I can try to dig up contact information for her (I know I had it once) if they would like. Oh, I guess I should post this over on Caring Bridge, huh…? But just know I am thinking of all of you, and especially Sam.
Thanks so very much, Alex. I’m going to click over and do some reading there tomorrow.
Also thanks for leaving this on CaringBridge for Steph and Terry. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
I just read your surrogacy story. I’m with Stephanie, I think you all did too much work to get Sam here. I can’t even tell you how touched I am by your story and I have like a stone cold heart with only one or two feelings. I’m rooting for your Sam.
Poppy recently posted..Fin-flea
Thanks, Poppy, for lending one of your feelings to cheer in Sam’s corner.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Oh honey…I don’t even know how you typed this out.
YES, I will pray for Sam, and for his parents to be sent extra strength.
And I will ask my mom and stepfather to pray for him and add his name to the prayer book at our (Catholic) church.
I am praying for you, too. I won’t try to compose words of comfort…anything anyone says at a time like this feels so awkward and wrong.
Ms. J recently posted..Diagnosis: Spend more money you don’t have
Thanks so much, Ms. J. You may have felt “awkward and wrong,” but I do feel comforted just the same, knowing that you are praying for Sam and that you will ask others to pray for him, too. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Kym dear, my thoughts and prayers are with Stephanie, Terry, Sam, and you. With Stephanie and Terry’s permission, I would like to submit Sam’s name to Father Ralph Diorio’s prayer list. Father Ralph is a Catholic priest who has a long track record of being involved in many miraculous healings. Father Ralph prays for anyone and everyone.
Yes, please do add Sam’s name to the list. I know that will be welcomed by Stephanie and Terry.
xoxo, my sister thugette.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Praying and asking all of my praying friends to pray for him as well. God is good and we will stand in the gap as Stephanie, Terry, Sam and you go through this! Much love.
Sili recently posted..It Takes a Village And You Can Help!
Thank you, Sili, for praying for Sam and for passing the word along.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
I am not the praying type, but I will keep every single one of you in my thoughts and hopes for recovery and strength.
Delenn recently posted..Day 10 – Obsessions – Video Style
Thanks, Delenn. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
I just found your blog a day or two ago and so had only just read your surrogacy story, I am so sorry to now read this news
Will pray and visit his page xx
Leah recently posted..Christmas Gift Ideas for someone who has everything …
Thank you for your prayers.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Oh my. I will be thinking of Sam and his family (you included). My heart just goes out to you all.
There’s another blog I read where their 4 year old was just diagnosed with ALL last month. I don’t know the mom personally but she sounds amazing and they are just so positive despite everything. You might want to take a look at her page and pass it along to Stephanie and Terry. Their story is here: http://kimchingocha.blogspot.com/
HubeiMama recently posted..Homework
Thank you so much. I’m going to do a lot of reading tomorrow, and this blog will be one of my starting points. Thank you for your kind thoughts.
JW Moxie recently posted..Please
Oh no. I read this post with my heart in my throat. Oh goodness. I am so, so sorry. All of my thoughts and prayers go out to Sam and his parents. This is just so horribly unfair. Many many (((Hugs))). Xoxo
Jjiraffe recently posted..Things I Learned From Really Bad Reality Television
Thank you for your prayers. Cancer is just plain unfair to everyone. Its middle name is unfair. And maybe also a few choice expletives.
JW Moxie recently posted..Bullets Are For Gangstas – Episode Three
My thoguhts are with Sam, his family and you all!
JustHeather recently posted..First appointment for IVF #3
Thank you for keeping Sam and his family in your prayers, Heather.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
They are so strong and I know the love that surrounds them will carry them. It must. Thinking of you all and sending my strength.
Thank you, Erin. They’re doing the best that they can by trying to stay focused on all that they’re grateful for. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
I am so sorry to hear thus. My love and prayers go o7t to everyone. How very heartbreaking for all of you. Big hugs.
Big hugs right back to you, emms. (((hugs)))
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Sam is now on my prayer list. As a former GS x 2, I just can’t imagine.
Thank you, Kate. We keep these kids in our hearts, don’t we?
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Oh god, my heart is just aching for you all. Keeping you (and adding him) in my thoughts & prayers.
Sprogblogger recently posted..Home again, home again
Thank you for keeping Sam in your thoughts and prayers, SB!
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
The candle will be lit. I’m speechless at this moment. Feelings are: anger, sadness. anger (yeah I know I said that already). But, I also have hope. That is all for now.
Thanks, Mom.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Oh my God. When I read your status update on FB today, I was shell-shocked. I can’t believe this is happening.
Many many prayers for Sam and his parents….do keep us updated.
I was shell-shocked for the whole weekend after I found out. I’ve moved on into butt-kickin’ mode, now.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
I can’t even begin to imagine! I will keep Sam, and all of you, in my thoughts.
andy recently posted..Surgery update
Thank you for thinking of us, andy. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
All my prayers are being sent to Sam and his family.
HereWeGoAJen recently posted..Thursday Pictures
Thank you, Jen. For your prayers, and for your outstretched arms.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
When we light the Shabbat candles tonight, I’ll add in some words about Sam. Sending love to you and the whole family, and a quick, full recovery to Sam.
Thank you for praying for Sam, Mel. That means a lot to me.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
oh, no. i’m so sorry. what terrifying news.
sam and stephanie and terry and YOU will all be in my thoughts and prayers.
much love.
Bionic Baby Mama recently posted..Edibile Items
Much love back to you. Thank you for praying for Sam (for all of us, really). xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Lots of hugs and love to you and your extended family! I will keep you all in my thoughts.
-r
Rachee recently posted..On the Hooks: Neck love
Thank you, Rachee!
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Sending love and prayers to you and Sam and his family. We have a sweet little friend who was diagnosed with ALL almost 2 1/2 years ago, at age 2. He will complete treatment next summer I believe and has a great prognosis. I know everyone is in information overload right now, but when things settle a bit, please let me know if I can put Sam’s family in touch with our friends. Sam will fight this and he will win. xo
Thanks, alison. It is so encouraging to hear that your little buddy is expected to do well. If and when Stephanie and Terry want to reach out to other parents, I’ll definitely keep your name on tap to get them connected. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
This is devastating. My heart’s with you for good outcomes on all fronts!
schmutzie recently posted..Me at Aiming Low: How To Make Lemony Garlic Mockamole
“Devastating” didn’t know who it was messing with. We WILL have a good outcome! xoxo, schmutzie.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Sending lots of love to you all. Hugs, too.
Lori Lavender Luz recently posted..Find the perfection in imperfection
Thank you, Lori. We’ll take all the love and hugs that we can get.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Prayers and love and light their way…
Julia Roberts recently posted..The Exceptions
Thank you for your open arms to help, Julia.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Oh baby no…..I’m so sorry to hear this. Like Alison above, I also know someone who survived this. He just graduated highschool this year, along with my eldest daughter. But yeah, living hell for three years.
Warm hugs.
The Animated Woman recently posted..Eleven ELEVEN Eleven
I feel confident that Sam will do well in the long run. I’m just afraid of how hard the short-run treatment of the next three years will be on him.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Will certainly pray for Sam and his family. I am a breast cancer survivor and a volunteer with the American Cancer Society. I was given an 85% rate to live 5 years, and in August I celebrated 10 years survivorship. Everyday there are new discoveries to help cancer patients. I’ll pray that Sam’s docs find the right formula to help him live a long and healthy life. Stay hopeful.
Thank you, Mary. I have loads of hope. It’s so wonderful to know that you’ve exceeded expectations! May there be no end to that in sight anywhere soon. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
beaming SO SO much love to you and your extended family (the one that Sam belongs to). I don’t understand why many things happen – I just don’t. But I believe in the power of love and hope and that is what I am vibing at you guys right now.
xoxoxoxo- infinity
Dresden recently posted..It’s an Earl Grey Day
“I believe in the power of love and hope….” Me, too, Dresden. Me, too. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Kimberli (I know i’m spelling that wrong) I don’t know you except through team aiming low, but you sound exceptional. I am so sorry to hear about Sam, and my heart aches for you and his parents. I will drop by the caring bridge site (I have another person to visit on there today…) and do anything else I can. Seriously. Contact me if there is anything at all I can do (perylmanning@gmail.com ).
Thank you so much, Peryl. Through the next week, I’ll be pulling together a support/fundraising site for Sam. Keep an eye out here for the deets. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
I am so, so sorry to hear of this. Being stuck in the hospital with tubes and IVs and stuff is no fun at any age, and I’m sure it’s worse for a 4 year old. Do you know if he’s allowed to have coloring books and Play-Doh and other stuff to keep him occupied? Because I would love to send him an activity pack to brighten his day…
Sam definitely can have boredom busters. I’ll have details on where to send care packages within the next couple of weeks. Thank you so much for your generosity. <3
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Oh Kym, HUGE hugs for you, Sam, and his parents….I’m holding all of you in my prayers.
Thank you, Jess. xo
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Thinking of you, Sam, and his family. Not sure what I can do to help other than to say – he’s in my thoughts and on my heart. And I’m sure a bit of your gangsta has rubbed off on him, so I know he’s up for the fight.
Love & strength hun, love & strength.
Keiko recently posted..Photos from Ireland
I hope that my gangsta has rubbed off. Stephanie insists that his rhythmic inclination came from me. Hopefully some kick-ass gangsta did, too. <3
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Love and prayers. Oh, Kym, I wish there was more I could say.
“Love and prayers” is everything, niobe. xo
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Oh Kym.
I haven’t been around much (used to post on Between the Lines – maybe you remember me?) and I hate hate hate that this is what I’m seeing as I get reacquainted with you. My heart just breaks to know your meatball has such a fight ahead of him (and I can only imagine how his parents are feeling, my god.) I hope he has a relatively easy path and is in remission so very soon. But rest assured, my thoughts will most definitely be with him and his family (and you – I know you’re terrified and heartbroken too). Hugs and hugs and hugs to you all.
Oh, Amber, how could I ever forget you!? I’m so glad to see you here offering your support. Don’t be a stranger, mmmkay?
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
I can’t believe I only just *met* you, read of your surrogacy story, and have now seen this post.
My heart is aching, but I can’t help feeling that there is another miracle waiting here for all of you.
I will visit their site now; but please let me know if there’s anything I can do. Blood donations, marrow donor registration – it may be too soon for anything or not needed…
I don’t know. But I kick into “what can I do” mode at times like these. Sorry if that’s strange or pessimistic. It’s the opposite of what I want to be.
Love to you and Sam and this beautiful FAMILY.
XO
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me recruited
I think there’s a miracle waiting for us, too.
It is not too early to think of blood donations, as from what I’ve read thus far, Sam will likely need many transfusions of platelets and plasma. He’s had several transfusions already. I’m going to get more information from Stephanie on that later when she learns it, and if there’s anything that I can do on that end to help, I’ll definitely let everyone know. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
All of you, especially Sam, are in my thoughts and in my heart today and always.
Thank you, Esperanza.
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
I am so, so sorry, Moxie.
Some of your blood still flows through Sam’s veins, and therefore he is a superninja and will kick the ass of this mofo cancer.
Baby Smiling In Back Seat recently posted..Thoughtful Thursday: Happy Place
Sam is a superninja who will kick the ass of this mojo cancer. I like the sound of that. xoxo
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Oh honey, this is awful. No child should have to go through that, and SAM of all kids? I do agree with Baby Smiling in Back Seat that no surrobaby of yours can fail to be anything but a superninja. Will be sending out the good mojo fast and furious.
I hate cancer.
Sara recently posted..A curve ball
I need to make some cancer voodoo dolls and start poking the hell out of them.
Sam’s a fighter for sure.
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
I’m so devastated to hear this and can’t even imagine how you and everyone who loves Sam must be feeling. I will say lots and lots of healing prayers and put him in my Bahai community’s prayer circle of love. Thinking of all of you, Kym. Heart hugs.
Thank you, Naomi. Stephanie and Terry are feeling the love and are overwhelmed with the showing of support. So am I. <3
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
Oh no oh no!!! Not Sam. All my thoughts and prayers. This just can’t happen.
Chickenpig recently posted..Beta day
“This just can’t happen.” I’ve been telling myself the same thing. But it is, so the best we can do is glove up and start kicking ass, right?
JW Moxie recently posted..Shattered
I’m just so, so, so sad beyond words. I wish even more that I lived back in GA to be there for you.
Balancing Act recently posted..Thankful on Thursday
I wish you were here, too, but that’s not different from any other day.
I know what you mean, though. A night of margaritas definitely would have been in order.
How devastating. It doesn’t seem right. Absolutely sending all kinds of love and good thoughts their way, and yours too. Going to leave them some words.
Robin | Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Life List: The Next 15
Thank you for leaving some words here and on CaringBridge, Robin. They make a difference. xoxo
Prayers, good wishes & much love beaming their way to all of you.
Mr. The Huz, thank you so much for beaming some love and light down to Sam, his family, and me. JC is Just Cool. A Jive Chick. All because she married you, I’m sure.
“It took many people to get him here. Maybe the good thoughts of many will help keep him here.”
Typing through my tears… So heartbreaking to hear this news. I am the praying type and am holding all of you, especially Sam close in my thoughts and prayers. xoxo
Kathy recently posted..My Muse
Thanks, Kathy, and thank you also for posting such a sweet message on Sam’s CaringBridge page. Hugs to you and the family!
Sending love, hugs, and prayers….
this breaks my heart.
Erin Margolin recently posted..The Nitty Gritty on the First Few Weeks of Motherhood.
Thank you for the love and hugs, Erin.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
Sending up balloons of hope that this story takes a turn back to the path we all know it should follow.
Amanda recently posted..Years go by
Thank you for your hopeful balloons, Amanda!
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
It’s all I can do to hold back the tears. I’ll be praying for Sam and his family. (my son was in the hospital five years ago for surgery to remove a tumor — the worst and scariest time of my life)
xoxoxo, leanne.
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
I just found your blog, and I’m already in tears because of Sam’s birth story and diagnosis. I will be sending up major prayers for him and his family (including you)! I am expecting my third child in April, and after he arrives I am interested in possibly helping another couple to have a child via surrogacy. Your story just strengthens my desire to do so.
Kimberly recently posted..These Kids
Thank you for your prayers, Kimberly, and congratulations on the impending arrival of baby #3! If you have any questions at all about surrogacy, please don’t hesitate to ask me!
JW Moxie recently posted..Save Our Sam Launch Day!
I am praying for Sam, I am always gutted to hear of cancer and illness striking children, but this feels especially close to home.
jenn recently posted..the s word